BPDFamily.com

Separated with children. Each day is a new form of chaos. I have ignored it for months, answering only with facts and refusing to debate or argue. It doesn’t seem to let up. I’m slowly losing the kids to the smear campaign, and I can’t defend myself because I’m not suppose to talk about the divorce with my minor children. I’m avoiding major financial losses weekly as balls are intentionally dropped and I have to catch them before they fall.

Things were very dark when we first separated, but now after a few months, I think I will pull through this. Skin is thickening. Emotions have stabilized despite unrelenting and intelligently crafted attempts to cause me pain and anxiety. She is losing control.

Hopefully I can one day give back what I’ve received from many folks through this journey. Happy to be here.

I often have a lot to say... this time, not so much. I don't know how old your kids are, but it's OK to set the record straight; just do so without attacking her. Act with integrity, show them love, demonstrate through words and deeds that you are the mature one, and find ways to demonstrate what reality is, and eventually they may be able to see the reality. But BPDs have a lot of skill at manipulating us. But if she is truly slipping, then she may lose control and others perhaps see things for that they are.

My experience was that the divorce process was horrible but very validating in the end. Both lawyers were in the latter part of their careers and had never experienced anything like it. My constant refrain was, "no empathy and no regard for the law."

We might be able to help with this. It happens to most of us here to varying degrees of severity.

I didn't think I could defend myself either. There are fortunately a battery of skills that are not intuitive and must be learned (and practiced).

How old are the kids?