BPDFamily.com

Hi do any of you take medications, legally, to hlp you deal with spouse or sig other who has BPD. What seems to help you.

 HI BADKNEES1 


Have you tried any therapy?

Probably the best thing to do is to check with your primary care doctor. Discuss any issues that you are having with anxiety, depression, etc., along with other issues you may have (like high BP, etc.) Sometime some meds that are prescribed for one thing, can help with another.  Beta blockers are prescribed for some heart issues and/or high blood pressure.  They are sometimes, used to help people with high anxiety and panic attacks.  I've heard of some people using them when they have "stage fright". 

Be cautious about any benzodiazepines (benzos)  meds. (like Xanex or Ativan), as you can build up a tolerance for them and get addicted.  I have some Xanex, but I only use it occasionally, and after using every other means to calm down (or get some sleep). Benzos work best, when used occasionally and not just taken routinely, like you need to do with some other meds.  They can have a place, as long as you use them with caution.

The best approach is to calm yourself by other means:

• Deep breathing exercises



• Meditation (TM, guided meditation or other)



• Mindfulness



• Music (use some headphones)



• Exercise



• Hobby
  
  

Hi badknees1,


I guess the most common and legal medication is alcohol which for a whole host of reasons is a really bad idea when it comes with a pwBPD around you.

A large percentage of our members have had or currently struggle with various level of depression. Some do or may benefit from depression or anxiety related medication or therapy targeting this specific aspect.

The way I see this - medication for a partner of a pwBPD is a band aid. It should not be necessary to take medication to stay with your partner. But then on the other hand the relationship is sick and medication may help to recover to a place where it is not needed anymore. Whether and which medication may be a complementary option needs to be discussed with a qualified professional.

The issues we as partners of pwBPD deal with require in any case robust and sustainable self care skills. Even if you explore and walk the medication route please invest time and effort in one or two new relaxation skills. Skills take time to build but stay with you a lifetime and is effort well spent.

I actually quit drinking in order to be in control with mine, since he drank so much. I take ambien to sleep... .He would still wake me up though, but I could go back to sleep quickly. Once you start on some anti depressants its really difficult to get off them if you can at all. I have seen some bad things happen. Don't get on them if you don't really need them. The problem with anti anxiety pills is if your s/o has an addiction problem, they will take them from you. Mine abused xanex, so I could not have that in the house... .I personally don't think pills are the answer... .just creates a new problem for yourself. They are only good for extreme cases.

Problem is pills can numb a crisis, which means you dont deal with it very well. You need to be on the ball at those times

It also becomes a habit as BPD is an ongoing issue.

Before I knew about BPD when my wife was having a night time meltdown i would pilfer some of her Valium to at least get a nights sleep. Sleep deprivation was an issue.

Now I have a better handle on it and I rarely loose a nights sleep.

I also gave up drink completely to reduce my own trigger reaction, and any tendency to use it as a blocker.

My wife also abuses meds, though this is now being tapered down from quite dangerous overdose levels