BPDFamily.com

To all those who will likely experience a BPD meltdown today, know that you are a good person, and you are appreciated, and we get it.  Feel free to share your experience (positive or negative) if it helps.

The more stressful aspects of Christmas have gone by uneventful, we still have to visit my family in a different state starting tomorrow for a 3 day trip, so it is not over yet...

Since last Christmas, I have set firm boundaries... My boundaries are all based on "all abuse must stop" - the physical abuse has stopped, the verbal rages have been dramatically reduced, however, other forms of emotional and psychological abuse are still present, at a reduced rate; however, it is still very impactful.

My children are beginning to thrive, and with a lot of careful planning, and an excessive amount of support from me (I know most of her triggers and I headed off each one of them well in advance) my wife has managed to navigate Christmas without blowing up, and my children, especially my eldest is also familiar with her triggers and has managed to navigate them quite well as well.  My son, is getting some ideas on this too, so he knows to settle down, when I can sense pre-triggering in my wife and ask him to 'chill', or 'zip it'.

I will update when that out of town trip is finished.

Take care with self-care.

SD 

Outdoor Enthusiast,

I echo the same feelings, I feel deeply for all of you here and know that anyone who makes it to bpd family as a bpd caretaker is a good person who has actually made far too much effort to please their pwbpd, basically the opposite of what that pwbpd is prone to tell (or scream at) us, that we’re not good enough in whatever way. I hope Christmas went well for you. Ours has been blessedly uneventful, I think it’s because little man S1 is running on chocolate instead of sleep which seems to be far less stressful for my wife (as he sleeps in her arms most of the time).