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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: simplyasiam on July 08, 2013, 05:49:43 PM



Title: i think im in the black
Post by: simplyasiam on July 08, 2013, 05:49:43 PM
30 days ago she found out i had been on dates the month before.

her mom says she thinks i called her new land lord and talked sh&^ about her... . i didnt do that!

changed facebook stat to in r/s

wondering what feeling/actions you think this may couse in PwBPD?


Title: Re: i think im in the black
Post by: scuba02 on July 08, 2013, 07:55:11 PM
You changed your facebook status? are you in a relationship?

I'm definitely in the black after admitting to being with another girl... . I was out of the country for six months and unfortunately it happened and she found out... . For me it was a blessing in many ways... . It made me accountable for my actions which I will learn from (your only as sick as your secrets)... . It ended my friendship with the other person (obviously didn't start healthy)... . And it finally got her to paint me black and cut me out of her life (before she couldn't justify leaving cause I was a model pleaser)

Its all how you look at it I guess... . I'm looking at this a lesson learned... . Now time to improve myself and move on! No looking back


Title: Re: i think im in the black
Post by: simplyasiam on July 08, 2013, 08:00:15 PM
no im not in r/s have only been on a few dates.

it was mess when she left last time at the time i was dead set on never dealing with her again

now i know thats really not what i want but im stuck with it and may be for good this time


Title: Re: i think im in the black
Post by: scuba02 on July 08, 2013, 08:37:22 PM
Its funny how this happens because in the end for me a few weeks ago I was dead set on never going back... . I mean ever! So set I called her out on a lie about the new bf she had always denied (I had proof)... . I knew it would lead her into a frenzy which it did... . She subsequently we on a mission to destroy me and after stealing my cell phone she did just that... . The what ifs started right after for me... . In the end for me it was really the best outcome... . She left... . God knows i would never have done it on my own... . Tried multiple times in the past with no luck... . Now i'm left to dust myself off learn from my mistake and try again (long away) with a healthy mate... . Life is a series of tests and this is one i had to live and learn from... . knowledge from experience is power

Has your SO done this before? painted black? and did they come back after that?


Title: Re: i think im in the black
Post by: simplyasiam on July 08, 2013, 08:45:42 PM
atleast one time before came back after about 3 months that time it was our 1st break up and longest to this point most of time she just went n/c for a week or so then came back.


Title: Re: i think im in the black
Post by: scuba02 on July 08, 2013, 09:00:52 PM
So sorry to hear of you having to be in this situation... . I know exactly how it feels as i'm only two weeks out... . I can say with each and every day it gets a bit better for me... . Maybe us living apart for the past 6 months was a nice buffer... . Really the only thing that missing in my day is the constant fighting and accusations

What was the reason for the 3 month break? Was it something you had done? For me I assume its because she already had her new supply lined up and was dating him the same day... . Makes me wonder if she would have stayed if he was not around?


Title: Re: i think im in the black
Post by: simplyasiam on July 08, 2013, 09:14:59 PM
wanted to be on her own ... . single mom same as always , never happens shes never in her adult life spent a nite alone.