BPDFamily.com

I haven't been on here in forever. 8 years out now. I've met my ex several times over the years (just coffee) since I left but not in the last 3 years. We used to text on occasion and generally have a dialogue around Christmas. How is the family. etc. She still lives near me although claimed to hate me for moving her here way back when. I'm happy with how it all ended somehow. I guess because I am over her. I know she has had many failed relationship since it is a smaller community. I do have some genuine sympathy for her but no interest in being friends anymore. She initiates the Christmas thing and last fall she wanted advice on rodents in her house. I do respond but she is just another ex as far as I'm concerned. No big deal.

I've developed a very close friendship with a widow the last few years. I've changed my habits and haven't really been longing to be in a romantic relationship again. I've just tried to be a real good friend to people and develop close relationships with others who show an interest in my company. I have some side projects outside of my regular work job that have taken up all my free time. One is with maybe my best friend at the moment. An older man 22 years my senior and my widow friend whose husband had business dealings with my older friend. When her husband died she took up his half of the business and her and I became friends. I've had an awkward moment with her recently when a party ended at her house and we were the last ones standing. Sheesh. I was rather awkward about things and feeling a bit embarrassed just said goodbye and left.  I actually wouldn't have minded staying. We are friends and hang out all the time together but never alone at night in her house. Boy. I have to admit I have very strong feelings for this woman and apparently need to get over my inhibitions and have an open talk. I don't think she is over her husband which was a difficult unexpected death but she does seem interested in me. I think I've been out of the picture so long I forgot how to act. Somebody splash some cold water on me and tell me to get my act together. I think I had an easy time becoming friends with her because I knew she was hurt and we wouldn't become a romantic couple. Something I had convinced myself I wasn't interested in anymore. But life happens anyways. LOL

Glad to see the boards still going. It helped a lot and I was sad for a very long time. Great big world out there though and I still have a lot of life to live. Wish me luck.

welcome back OTH  :hi:

it sounds like time has been good to you and youve been good to yourself. im a bit over seven years out myself. amazing what perspective can do. would you say youve been cautious about dating since? has there been anyone else?

tell us more about your friendship with this woman. how long ago was the unexpected death? what are the signs youre seeing that shes interested?

Cautious would be an understatement. I have dated a little but it didn't stir any interest in me. I  decided to not worry about it. As for her... .It has been three and half years since her husband died. I was just getting to know her husband when he died. I had just met her twice before that so barely knew her. I've helped them (my older friend and her) with a new business project and I spend a lot of time with her and my older friend. We see each other at least 3 or 4 times a week going back 3 years now. We have had more intimate conversations lately when we find ourselves alone but this doesn't happen that often. We are generally always around other people. I've been invited to spend time with family. Just recently her mother and brother came in from the East coast. We always notice each other coming and going. She compliments me frequently and gets a bit agitated and tends to butt in if other woman are talking to me. LOL. She doesn't realize she has nothing to worry about.  I kind of freaked out though at her house and just got out of there when we were alone. I think I kind of had a panic attack and not that best response to the situation if I'm interested and I am definitely interested. She is pretty great. 

so, why cautious? with her, and in general?

How is it going with her OTH?

As an aside, the sonic trap worked with my outside mouse problem. Took care of two mice one day after the other.  Killed another in another way.   Interestingly, I was concurrently reading about a sonic weapon in a military sci-fi novel. It took care of two mice,  one day after the other.  They had made a Warren under my back porch slab. They were aggressive.  I was sitting outside one night and I saw one jump onto my screen door trying to get into the house. I had one inside for over a month. It left droppings on my kitchen counters, disgusting. It was all over the house. I found scat under my kids' bed.

Been a couple years. We live together now and are very happy. I am blessed. She is still great and I am very happy to have a solid relationship. Holding up my end well I believe. Wedding bells soon I hope!

Nice