BPDFamily.com

Feeling lonely?

to get in the "right" mood for this topic maybe some Pink Floyd lyrics:


A lot of us are struggling with loneliness. The conflict in our relationships isolated us. On top of that we are in a unhealthy relationship with our partner so we need to detach *to a degree*.

I found the this WSJ article www.wsj.com/articles/new-research-on-overcoming-loneliness-1442854148 (http://www.wsj.com/articles/new-research-on-overcoming-loneliness-1442854148) of some interest both from a how loneliness "works" and what could work when dealing with it.

When I found this site I felt like being alone on ground zero. My handle sort of reflects that.

So how do you feel and deal with it?

Generally I am so engaged with my own interests, I stay busy. If I am bored, I am just tired, really.

I have a lot of friends on chat clients. I work from home, so I am able to chat with tons of people throughout the day. I listen to a lot of music and have news channels running on TV most of the day. It defrays the angst that can creep up. My mother also lives with me and she has a cheerful little dog which kind of makes up for my surly Siamese cat...

As I have become isolated ( self imposed from exhaustion from this relationship) I have tended to stay home most of the time. Therapist has been suggesting I take the time to get out more. I get out around the yard and walking, but it's really hard for me to physically be around a lot of people.

Agoraphobia? Maybe some. I think about do I want to live like this forever? No, but I think maybe my basic nature demands a lot of alone time. Introvert maybe :)

I have some plans. I have experience with horses. I moved last year and have been thinking of getting one. There is a stable within a mile of here where I can board it and ride and interact with other horse people.  I want a grey Arabian mare with a white mane and tail.

I am also an introvert, but I seem to have enough friends that if I had more social obligations, I would feel burned out. My husband resents that I seem to make friends easier than he does, though he tries way too hard and I think people see that and often use him.

I've got lots of animals: cats, goats, sheep, horses, so that keeps me busy.

I, too, get worn out dealing with my BPDh so I need a lot of downtime. I don't feel lonely, but I miss the closeness and openness I once had with my husband when we were first together.

Now he doesn't trust me enough to open up, yet he complains I don't spend enough time with him. Who wants to be with someone who won't share intimately with you? That's frustrating.

Loneliness is a peculiar state of mind.  I am happily married, have the proverbial house with a white picket fence, 2.2 children, good relationships all around... .and I get lonely.

Sometimes, this emotion is just woven into the fabric of our very being.  The only time I can alleviate this state of mind is when my hands hold a tool with a paper in front of me... .like right this very minute that I am typing.  This relationship between my mind, my hand and the paper is absolute and no loneliness creeps in.

Otherwise, in the midst of a party, in the midst of loving family, in the arms of a loving husband, hugs of children... .a kernal of this stays.

With me, this state of mind is not necessarily melancholic.

So, if sense of loneliness is a symptom of a low grade depression, then I'd recommend talking to your doctor.  In my case, it is the daily life intruding upon a "higher calling"... .even though the daily life in itself is very satisfying.