BPDFamily.com

Hello ,  has anyone experienced anything like the following ?  

It seems that my BPD S.O. (diagnosed) has blocked my phone, without any warning or apparent reason ,  we were on reasonable terms untill mid December, when I noticed each time I tried to call (as opposed to text) the phone switched to answerphone, yet when trying from another phone it would be fine.

Her last text was in early December, and was friendly.

Since mid Dec, therefore I have been completely unable to message her , and on Christmas Day , I called to wish her a happy christmas , she hung up on me.

I have known her for 9 years, and of course we have had the usual dramas which attend BPD relationships, but she has never blocked my phone before, which makes it seem all the more confusing since we were not on bad terms when this occurred.

I think something serious may have happened in her life , and I have a strong feeling she is blaming me for it ,  as she has often accused me of all sorts of things in the past , some really bizarre accusations , all of which were completely untrue.  A couple of years ago she got someone to phone me to say the friendship was over and I was not to contact her again,  this was without any explanation , and I didn't see her for 6 months after that, but even then , she didn't block my phone.  This was again due to another false accusation.  

I was wondering if anyone else has been 'locked out' without any explanation  ?  Normally if she is angry with me , I hear all about it !

I have sent a short letter, and an email , as well as a voice message, all to no avail.  I am not going to keep sending messages , as unfortunately these attempts at 'chasing'her only feeds her ego and will have the opposite effect, it is like dealing with a 14 year old.  

The frustration for me is not being able to 'defend' myself against insane accusations.  

I think that we can all relate to the frustration of the false accusations. But, sadly, there is not a lot of defense to gained when a pwBPD is dysregulated. How they feel is their reality and trying to change it is just going to be telling her that she's wrong. This only makes things worse.

My exwife completely blocked me from her world, moved to a different part of the country, split me black for 10 years, apparently made all sorts of strange accusations about what I did when we were married, and just popped up 10 years later.

The other pwBPD in my life, would randomly block me from all contact while we were still in a relationship and when we were trying to reconcile.

So, yes, it happens.

Red flag: Blocking you often means she already has another relationship going on, especially around holidays. She does not want to run tje risk of you finding out, hence the blocking.

Jack

Or her new relationship to find out about you... .

I was thinking of sending a short message just asking if she would tell me what it is that has made her feel  she needs to do this to me .   (For me it is the not knowing) Any thoughts ?

Can you please provide us with the statistics that you are relying on that back up that accusation?

We cannot know what is going through the other person's mind and will never know the true reason that we get blocked. My ex, who wasn't involved with another at the time, blocked me so that she couldn't see what was going on in my life. She told me that it bugged her to see me happily going on with my life without her.

We need to be really careful to not paint all pwBPD with the same brush. They are individuals just like everyone else. Each has their own thoughts, quirks, and traits.

I wouldn't do that unless you are prepared for the response.

Do you that it is possible to look at it all as she isn't doing anything to you?

We all work with the tools that we have available at the time. One of the characteristics of BPD is that the person has maladaptive tools to deal with their emotions; their tools are in an arrested stage of development.

Because of this, pwBPD often project their emotions onto others in the form of rage, silent treatment, etc. One of the ways to combat this is to understand BPD and not take the attacks personally. Because, it really isn't about the non, it's about the pwBPD. When the non internalizes it, they are accepting and owning what the pwBPD is showing/telling them. We each get to decide what we are going to accept.

No statistics, just from reading other people's experiences.  And I did say "often", not "always".

True.  But the OP asked what it meant, and I provided my opinion based on other people's experiences.

Jack