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A year 1/2 ago when I heard Xw had a BF I was deviststed, after the way she treated me you think I would dance a jig. I thought hard about telling one of the BF's friends, to be careful. Xw is not a running around cutting her self, tall tale type of person. She is very high functioning got it together type of person. Very sly, devious, manuplateing emotional abuser. She can bring you to your knees with a look or a few properly placed words. I thought I would save this poor fella some missery but I thought back to when people told my family to warn me. Not that Xw had a known crazy streak but her mother and father were known to have a streak in them. As it turned out Xw was the craziest of the whole pack. My family minded there business but as the r/s progressed what they were told would happen started to happen. I would not have listened. I did finely talk to someone who knew Xw family very well bc I really thought I was a horrible person and I felt like I was going insane, he said I've been waiting for your call. He said he wanted to warn me but did not want to interfere. Xw will keep her BF very busy with unlimited anything goes, anywhere anytime sex and he will not see plus she will keep him occupied with his character defects and his families that he will completely zone in on what he's doing wrong. I can't concern my self with Xw r/s because it keeps me attached and holds me back.

Now I don't mean to be at all rude or critical but I had a teeny bit of trouble following everything in your post so I'll comment on the title.

Would I have listened if I was warned about my ex?

I can happily say me from 5 years ago would NOT have listened to the warnings. Say an ex of my ex-wife had contacted me, I would have most likely talked to her about this. My ex was a brilliant spin-doctor and I'm very sure that a half-truth or an outright lie would have been told, completely disarming any doubts.

You know what, even if I kept this information to myself, I would have been too naive to process the warning. I had low self-esteem, blissfully unaware of personality disorders and being love-bombed by an extremely attractive woman who had the same hopes and aspirations as me.


2016 will go down as the roughest, most painful and gut-wrenching year of my life. Here's the thing. I needed to go through it. I'm still not there yet (perhaps 65-75% of the way through healing). I needed this whole crappy experience to point me on the right track to self-understanding and personal growth. I wish to the powers above that I could speed up my recovery too because this last few days has been terrible for some unknown reason, but that is (somewhat) out of my control too.

I can happily say that now, people who may suffer traits of cluster-B disorders stand out like sore thumbs to me. I'm not saying I see BPD everywhere, I'm just more aware of behavior patterns that may give some clues that the person I'm interacting with my have some red flags. This is also part of my enlightenment, I won't fall under the spell of someone like my ex- again, warning or no warning.

I hope that answers your question.

I know what you are thinking and I was there too. Warn people and I am sure it is founded with good intentions but it will not come off that way.
It will come off as slanderous and shallow and manipulative.

Let it go.