BPDFamily.com

This could be an exchange between my wife and myself, any time, any day.

Wife: "It's raining outside now. Why didn't you tell me to go to the store before it started"?

Me: " How the hell was I supposed to know it was going to rain"?

Wife: "You're a doctor, you should know these things".

Me: " You're kidding right"?

Wife: "I need to get some chicken for the dogs. They don't have anything to eat".

Me:  "There's an entire shelf of dog food. Give'm that. They don't need fresh cooked chicken every day. If they don't eat canned food, let'm starve".

Wife: " They have sensitive digestive tracts. How can you be so mean to little dogs. I'll bet you weren't mean to your x-wife's dogs. That fat whore".

Me (getting pissed): What does she have to do with anything? If the damn dogs won't eat dog food let them starve. It's called natural selection. You've heard of it"?

Wife: " They're my babies and if I have to feed them lobster that's what they'll get".

Me: That's easy for you to say, you don't have to pay for it and by the way, one of your babies missed the piddle pad again and crapped on the floor over there".

Wife: According to the judge, half of your income is mine".

Me: I don't want to get into that now. Just leave me alone. Do you want me to go to the store?"

Wife: "No".

Me: "I'll go. I don't care about getting wet".

Wife: "You'll pick up the wrong thing at the store".

Me: " I write novels, build rifles, run a practice and I can't pick up a package of chicken"?

Wife: "You'll poison them".

Me: "let me get this straight. I've spent thousands at the vets keeping those rodents alive and now I'm going to kill them with poisoned chicken? Are you listening to yourself? I have an umbrella in my car. Do you want me to get it".

Wife: "No".

Me: "So go to the store later".

Wife:  " I'll just go out now and get pneumonia and die. You'd like that wouldn't you? Then all your people would be happy wouldn't they"?

Me (no comment)

Wife: " How can you be so insensitive to my needs. I can't live like this any longer. I want you out of here. Everybody was right, you're a monster".

Me: " You talked to everybody. That must have been a lot of phone calls".

Wife: "Just get your hit_ and get out you hit_".

Oh my! I can totally relate to that! It did make me smile, it really is like some 1950's sitcom or something!

You have got to laugh

Maybe we should write a sitcom

Gotta have laugh tracks inserted here and there... .with a bright yellow, flowery kitchen background.

 Dude... .

Is this really helpful for you?

To me it is tragic - for both you and her to be in such a dysfuctional relationship. Hers always will be, of course.

But ruminating over the bad in the past does not seem too conducive for healing... .

Just a thought... .

I think you have to laugh at these things from time to time just to keep your insanity.

My BF wouldn't talk with me for three days once because he thought a photo in a calendar I put together for my work had been photoshopped. When I told him it wasn't, he got mad. At first, I was angry and hurt at his reaction, then the more I thought about it, I realized just how stupid it was and it turned into being almost hysterically funny to me. Hey... .we all have our own way of coping.

Exactly my point.  ;p

for me, ruminating over the nonsense is the ONLY thing that helps me heal.  it is what keeps me going with, "oh yeah, wait a minute.  nothing's ever gonna last for her.  the bi*ch is ___in nuts"

  Ya - I'm not saying I don't. But in order to heal we have to let go of all their crazy sh!t.

Just it can too easily devour you - the past - so keep the eyes on the road ahead as much as you can.

I love reading these reevega.  I think they're great.  And the dialog is SO close to the dialog that I had with my wife.

DAS, I wrote this to remind myself just how far from a healthy relationship my marriage had become. The was the kind of nuttiness I and many of you dealt and still deal with.

My heart is shattered like everyone elses. I sit alone and cry.

But if writing this benefits ME a little or poking fun at the absurdity of life with a bp helps anyone out there the it was worth it.

We're all in the same sad boat.

Oh my.   |iiii  lol

Yes--I know.

I took up  meditation so I could keep myself centered and nnot react. Even a monk woulod crack after a while. If I remained no reactive she would just ratchet it up often to the point of things becoming airborn. Me meditating. "Your a coward! You just don't want to face up to how your ***** mother screwed you up. I know your just doing that meditation to avoid me its not for you."

ON and On and On... .

Yeah, my mom screwed me up, too.  According to her.

Yeah golden we are messed up!  lol My mother came by one time after one of my BPDW's rages. My mother talked with her a bit and just asked what happens betweeen us. After my ma left BPDW went on about how my ma was watching her hands. She had this thing about her hand movements. It s like she believed people were watching her hands moving in an attempt to diagnose her or something. She mentioned this numerous time. "They kept looking at my hands." Wierd.

reevega, you're so right about writing. I find writing on this forum to be very cathartic. I've said it before - this place has saved my life (or at least my sanity).

Wow Reevega. Where did you find this? It looks like both of these people are insane. The Husband keeps the ball in play and even adds fuel to the fire... .Neither of these people know how to stop. Good thing you're laughing about it- but both of these people have to take responsibility for their poor behavior.

Somehow, this couple seems to enjoy beating each other up- threats about starving the dogs, name calling (rodents,) power struggles with money and then this:


One is a command to leave him alone and the next is a what do you want me to do question? Even I'm confused!

Hopefully they could truncate the dialogue with a little mindfulness.


End of story.  |iiii  

2010

That is a typical exchange between my wife and me. Yes, there is a ton of pathology there in both directions.