BPDFamily.com

I was just wondering if anyone has ever had their child admitted to this program.  If so, was it effective?  How did you accomplish it?  How much did it cost?

Being that it is Massachusetts and I live in Iowa, has anyone from this distance ever participated in the program there... .Also, I already have checked with our health insurance and it does not cover residential; although, my BPDd is in residential treatment now and they did end up covering 7 days, which was better than nothing.  She has been there for 6 weeks now and has made minimal, if any progress.  She came home this weekend for the first time and did "okay" Friday night and Saturday, but had a melt down Saturday night when I tried to enforce the pre-established, agreed upon bedtime and simple refused and started with the "guilt trip," manipulation, "you don't love me," "you abandoned me" scenario.  It was also very emotionally-charged when she went to leave with sobbing, saying, "I don't want to go back." 

"I'm fine, I don't need to be there."  I am certainly not giving up on her residential treatment program now, I was just curious about the McLean program and if anyone else had any insight into it. 

The diagnosis is still new for me.  I am awaiting the book "Stop Walking on Eggshells" to come in the mail.  I have also made a decision to call a therapist for me on Monday.  I am having the most difficult time with guilt.  I feel guilt all of the time and I don't know how to get rid of the guilt or cope with the guilt.  Also, I just don't understand it yet, meaning her way of thinking... .

Also, Happy Mother's Day to all of you out there!  I am working right now, so will be back a bit later tonight ... .

Hi DebbiRazz & welcome!  This is such a great place to be!

I'm in South Africa, so can't help you with the treatment centre at all, but I can commend you on setting & sticking to your boundaries |iiii .  That can be very hard, especially when your BPD starts with the guilt-trip thing. Try to remember that you haven't done anything wrong!

On letting go of the guilt, I've found that as I have learned to take care of myself, (not easy either) I have managed to get some of my self respect back & that has somehow dissipated the guilt.  Don't know how it works, but I'm just so glad that it has. :)

I'm also waiting for my "Eggshells" with anticipation.  In the meantime, I've found that this is such a wonderful, caring place to be & there's just such a lot of care, love and advice.  Stick around, read lots & TAKE CARE OF YOU.

Have a good day - I'm off to bed just now.  :)

  x

Ingridp

dear debbirazz,

so sorry for the pain and guilt you are feeling... .my time is coming soon!  i leave tomorrow to go to utah to visit 2 rtcs.  from all the study and communication i have had w/20+ facilities, it is my understanding that allowing your d to come home after 6 weeks is not the best option.  most programs won't even allow communication until 3 weeks from arrival and that is only by telephone/therapy over the phone w/family. 

as far as mclean... .it is a hospital... .they may have outpatient programs i'm not sure at this time.  another such hospital would be menningers in houston.  basically these are facilities for extremely high risk people and extremely costly.  menningers has a fee of over 1,000/day.  no one i know can afford this and as you have discovered insurance doesn't usually pay very well if at all.  in my opinion, if your daughter is not at high risk for suicide or harming others, an rtc is the most cost effective and potentially healing environment for her.

pwBPD need long term (9 month) at an rtc.  preferably one that uses dbt as their basis of therapy along w/experiential, family systems, possibly equine, and positive peer culture.  at least individual therapy once a week, group therapy daily, experiential bi weekly, and family therapy via telephone weekly or bi weekly, and family visits at the rtc quarterly as well as possible overnite w/family during family visits at their hotel.  some rtcs like the one you have your d in currently  do allow home visits... .none of the ones i have talked to would consider doing that at 6 weeks.

if you would like more information or to further discuss this, i would be happy to share w/you the names of the facilities that i have knowledge of.  or why there are certain criteria to consider when making choices about rtc/hospital placement.  basically, hospitals are only short term when our kids need long term.

lbjnltx