BPDFamily.com

I was talking with my daddy earlier and, to me at least, it seems like there are mostly older people on here. I'm a fresh 18, but I seem to be about the only one. How old are you guys? roughly, and why do we have a clustered group do you think?

I'm 50+ and 'live' on the Parenting board most of the time - most of us there are 'old'.  lol Got to be some other youngsters on some of the other boards, though.

45 turning 46 this month  *) ... .wonder about changing my user name... .only way I can keep up with it.

I'm in my 50's.  I think you're the youngest member here that I know of; I believe someone at the "dealing with parents and other relatives with BPD" sub-section mentioned being in their early 20's, but I think you're the only teen here.  Seems to me that most members here are between 30 and 50, but that's just me estimating.

I don't know whether this Forum has any rules about being at least 21, or not; you may want to ask the Admins about it.  But if its for those 18 and up, welcome.

*welcome*

-LOAnnie

Ditto being 45 and turning 46 in 10 days.

48 and still counting...

37, going on 126. Haha

Hi frtbt2,  Does it make you uncomfortable to hang with older people?    We have had some younger members come through on the Coping and Healing Board (and a few on the relationship board).  You've actually done a great job greeting some of them.   

This age cluster (say over 30) as you point out is because, I think, it takes a certain maturity to understand what is happening in ones life, to be able to look at it honestly and then to be able to search out help.   That's why I have said on the Coping and Healing Board that I think you are extremely mature and way ahead of the game.    I didn't find out until last year that my mom has BPD - I wouldn't have even been able to look at the issues with her until recently so I don't think its an accident that it took me so long.   (I might have preferred a few years earlier finding out though -  :)  )

I think you are quite amazing and have a brilliant career in psych in front of you if that is the direction that you stick with - or you could have a brilliant career in other directions as well - you really do have lots of choices.

LD

nope, I love you guys    as I said, my daddy and I were just talking about it. I suppose that makes sense as far as the age cluster goes. :)

Hi frtbt2,

37 for me.

I don't know your story, but you are here because you have enough emotional maturity to examine the issues which are bothering you. It's not unique in people your age, but not that common either. Well done.

I think that inquisitiveness about what makes us, and those in our lives with BPD, tick is the glue that bonds this community, no matter what age. I like to think that many of the people here, whether they are older or younger than me, have perhaps from time to time got something to teach me.

Shane

Hi frtbt2,

I'm 28 (but I like to think I'm more like 22  *)... .)  My BPD husband is 26. 

I have seen several on the Undecided and Leaving boards who are in the 18-22 age range.  It seems like those two boards are more likely to have younger members there (although I still think it is mostly older people).

Ya know what is funny though?  Several people who posted their age here, I have a "mental picture" of from their postings, and I thought them to be much younger!  I wonder if it's just me, or if we all picture others to be a little more like ourselves than they probably are.  I wonder if others read my postings and picture me to be older?

I'm 29.

Most members here do tend to be in older age groups (I'm 50's). This is a reason many of us and I am sure that many in the helping professions get so disgusted that BPD has been so ignored by the psychiatric profession in general. There seems to be tons of psyche's that have no experience, or even knowledge about BPD. For fifteen years or better I was an avid reader of psychology and I do not recall ever seeing it in print.

I was once left to determine that momster might be schizophrenic. Narcissism was not explained well enough either. Bipolar seems to the the catch all for dysfunctional people that are not showing severe symtoms and given how well the BPD can bluff a psyche I am sure many BPDs were labeled as bipolar or just depressed.

Be happy for the gift of discovering BPD at such a young age; it will spare you much in your future.

I'm 39.

42

27 - first heard about BPD when I was 24.

Two people above already mentioned my age (post-35, pre-40). :)

paws... . based on your pic, you look more like 28 months, than years.  :)

I would have guessed before this thread that many here (at least on the Staying/Leaving boards) would be mid-40s, give or take.

I'm 56, 57 in Nov. In some ways I feel like I'm finally having the childhood I never had!

I'm 39, 40 in the Fall.  Would have been here 18 years ago, if I had realized that there was a name for the behaviors I saw in my DH (and if the internet existed then).  He's healing and growing, partly thanks to the wonderful information and support I have found here!

Celebrating the 3rd anniversary to my 29th.  :)

oh yes, I had a therapist (not a very good one) who wanted to say that she suspected my mother of bi-polar and that they're really similar (which, in my opinion, they're not if you really know the disorder aside from the rages).

i'm 47 uh i think wait, uh yeah that's right... .never been good w/ages :)

i have come across a few newbies under 18 looking for help with their uBPDmomsters... .so very hard to turn them away from the site until they are 18... .they need help! where can they go?

lbjnltx

I'm 28  :)

33... be 34 in a couple weeks...

yeah, the age thing kinda sucks. I tried to join right after I moved out, but the whole being 17 thing got in my way.

Early 30s for me.

As to why the range? I think pwBPD can strike at any age. And I mean the spectrum of the pwBPD being a parent or a friend or a dating partner or a spouse. That in itself prompts a wide range.

Pictures? Where are there pictures?

Avatar pics. Your age is in dog years!

dear das,

is that a dachshund?  i love weiner dogs... .BPD13 has one... .little nicky... .almost 8 yrs old now... .he's an old man!  i call him little man.

lbjnltx

38

Erika

40, but I feel like I've really suffered some arrested development. Anyone else feel that way?

I think I was 40 when I joined, might have been 39, and am now a whopping 41.  A vigorous 41. 

Probably would have assumed most are 35-50 age range. 

Which we are.  According to the survey. 

But I live an age-integrated life, having friends who are 16, 3, and 85.  So am used to being a different age than my peers. 

Hmmm - but the OP doesn't have a picture. I is confuzzled.  ?

I believe you are correct. I have a cockapoo that will be a year old in August. The puppy's birthday is exactly one month after my exBPDgf and exactly one month before mine.

53. But learning, through therapy, there's still a very young child in me, kicking/screaming to be heard and integrated -- without a doubt the very root of what caused me to become so enchanted with the exuBPDf in my life, and painful as it is to admit, contributed to some very real BPD traits in myself - improved tremendously in my adult life but very recognizable in my young adulthood. 

40 years young here  :).

I am 32 was 30 when I joined this board.  My bf is 36 we will both be a year older in March.

I feel the reason why most people on this board may be a little older because we are trying to figure out our lives or wonder what or why we are even here for.  Most of us have kids and families, we don't have time for many friends or family, we are trapped in our lives.  This board offers a great release for those of us going crazy helps us figure out where we want to spend the next 30 years. 

37 and feeling older by the minute.    ;p

I think that's amazing that at 18 you've started to sort through this stuff.  For those of us in our 30s-40s, I think it's just taken us that long to realize that BPDs exists, we've probably dated a few of them over the years and that it's not us.   I know, looking back on other r/s I've had, I went round and round for months afterwards with regrets that, "I shouldn't have said that!" or,  "Why couldn't I have done this better?"  when in actuality I was just being myself and triggering others, who in turn triggered me back so to speak. 

Hey DAS- T2H said "paws... .  based on your pic, you look more like 28 months, than years.  :) " cause I said I was 28.  He was talking to me, referring to my bunny avatar.

Happy birhtday DS! ... .43 here.

I got you beat by a couple yrs DG... .  *)

I'll be 34 next month... .still closer to 30 than 40 though! Unlike my DH! HA! He just turned 39 yesterday... .the big 4-0 is creeping up on him! SWEEEEEEEEEET!

Marlo

It really is a mental attitude marlo as I certainly don't feel or act as if I'm in my early 40's. But then again, when my BPDW, who is 40 says she feels like she is a kid, well, this just gives me pause!  ;p

I did not have a BPD parent, but I can relate to being an "adult" in the world but not qualifying for age reasons... .I left home at 16 (with parental permission--I had skipped grades and was younger than my peers by 2 years).  I was mature for my age and more responsible than the 18 year olds with whom I was in college, so I was often the head of the rental household, had jobs with responsibility for others, etc.  This meant I had to lie about my age to be on the lease, etc., which I did a number of times out of necessity when a roommate would move out.   I respect the fact that you did not lie about your age on this board.

Emotional maturity comes at different ages or sometimes not at all.  My stepkids, who have a BPD mom, are 6 and 10 years old.  They can go from acting four to forty in about 10 minutes... .partly the result of having to grow up fast with their mom (and also having a mom who acts 4 sometimes as a role model for the 4 year old part), but this is also just who they are.  They are wise people, irrespective of their ages.  I learn lots from them all the time.  Some wisdom comes with age, some with experience, and some is just there.   

Just turned 19 at the end of June :)

Ended my tumultuous BPD relationship five days before my 18th birthday (which was turned sour by the deaths of Michael Jackson AND Farrah Fawcett. You win some, you lose some, I guess. lol).

Oh, to be young!

(I never really thought about the fact that everyone here is probably much older than I am. It just doesn't feel that way, yknow?)

i'm 23, frtbt! some of us younguns are here!

I'm 18, as well. You're not alone!

welcome another college student!

glad you are here  Hi!

would you be so kind as to post an introduction on the NEW MEMBERS board so that we can get to know a little about your situation, yourself, and how to be direct you around the site?

ps... .i never had a sock monkey as a child... .think i missed out  :'(

lbjnltx

29 here!

Just turned 34 20 yrs ago!

lol  21 years old 27 years ago.

Figured I'd bump this up.

Can't believe it, had to do the math, but I was 29 when I joined.