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The Emotional Incest Syndrome: What to Do When a Parent's Love Rules Your Life Author: Dr. Patricia Love Publisher: Random House Publishing Group (February, 1991) Paperback: 269 pages ISBN-10: 055335275X ISBN-13: 9780553352757 (https://bpdfamily.com/book-covers/spacer.gif) (https://bpdfamily.com/book-covers/locate.png) (http://www.bookfinder.com/search/?keywords=055335275X&st=sh&ac=qr&submit=)

Book Description
From Dr. Patricia Love, this book identifies, explores and treats the harmful effects that emotionally and psychologically invasive parents have on their children, and provides a program for overcoming the chronic problems that can result. Although it does not explore BPD specifically, it is highly relevant to many types of dysfunctional families. If you grew up as, with, or married a "chosen child," you will find much of interest here. The book is divided into two parts, What Is Emotional Incest--Exploring the Problem and Recovery--Defining the Cure and covers topics such as:

• Growing Up with an Invasive Parent
• Parents Who Send Mixed Messages: Love, Neglect, and Abuse
• The Adult Cost of Being a Chosen Child
• The Family Role Call: How Emotional Incest Affects Other Family Members
• Why Do Parents Become Overinvolved with Their Children (BPD is not discussed explicitly)
• Identifying Families at Risk (mental illness briefly touched on)
• Key Differences between Enmeshed and Healthy Families
• Making Your Personal History, History
• Making Peace with Your Parents (discusses boundaries as well as reconciliation strategies; won't be applicable to all bpdfamily.com members)
• Making Peace with Your Siblings
• Strengthening Your Marriage Relationship
• Shoring Up Your Support Network
• Parenting: How to End the Cycle of Enmeshment

About the Author
Patricia Love is a Licensed Professional Counselor, and a Clinical Member/Approved Supervisor in the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy.She resides and practices in Austin, Texas, where she writes, practices, and consults, promoting the concept of family reconciliation and healthy family functioning.

After having read a great deal of books on the recommended book list, The Emotional Incest Syndrome is the single most important book for anyone who is the child of, married to, or has children with a pwBPD. All of us are at high risk of enmeshing with our own children.