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Title: affair with therapist Countertransferance and BPDs Post by: sosadandone on July 18, 2010, 08:39:50 AM Im doing better than before my trip but need to post about this one
my ex BPD called me up in March and told me he was "in love" with his therapist It turned into a morass and Ive since taken legal action against this woman - who isnt credentialed, turned out to be a fraud and make horrible accusations against me But here is the deal BPDs notoriously cause strong countertransferance in therapists why? two reasons either they cause the therapist to become angry or they do the waif like victim mode inciting rescue fantasies. This is what happened. He always told me he would triangulate but this was to the enth degree Last July I tried to have an intervention done through a state agency and this was the woman they assigned, not knowing her credentials were fraudulent. In any event he told her I did the intervention for revenge for his breaking up with me. But that wasnt true and he knew it. In any event he played the victim in need of rescue and she played right into it, teaching him how to doctor shop within the confines of the agency. By the time he called me he had his meds just like he wanted them and was both homicidal and suicidal. But the important thing here was what he evoked in her- that she was going to save him He is constantly looking for someone to save him the problem is the only person he needed to be saved from was himself Title: Re: affair with therapist Countertransferance and BPDs Post by: 2010 on July 18, 2010, 06:32:14 PM Excerpt But the important thing here was what he evoked in her- that she was going to save him Yes, just like you. In fact, you could have a second career preventing rescuers from coming to his aid. Before you know it, your entire life will revolve around him as a satellite guard. You could take "legal actions" against people who may just be doing their job- and whom you have been lead to believe are sexualizing him in a professional capacity. This pretty much adds another person to your list of mental illness... .and takes a load off of him. (How convenient for him.) After all, you don't know what's really going on - and that's done on purpose because it's a nifty way for him to deceive you, and plant the seed in your head that your character (and hers) are both flawed- You, on the other hand, are trying harder and harder to be heard- and I think really, that this is what your complaint is all about. The authority behind the disorder on both ends, (his end and the therapist's end) is out of your hands. You have no idea what goes on in their sessions and that's upset you. He's taken the perception of your rescuing and turned it into something unclean- something persecutorial. Something YOU caused. And in doing so, you are now the victim. But this is when you should gladly step aside and not allow any more interaction that can and will be used against you. You do not need to make yourself a greater victim of TWO people. Triangulation (read definition) (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=121673.0) is only a way to keep you trapped. There is no deal here to be made. There can only be an understanding that you will never get your voice, your reputation, your dignity, when it's held by a mentally ill person who belittles and uses it for his own gratification. There is only one out. You must leave him (and her) behind. She may be a victim as well, but that's not your concern. Neither is he. It's now your turn to be somebody outside of the illness. The only problem you need to be saved from is your attachment to the outcome. |