BPDFamily.com

I know my wifes friends are very NPD at the least. My wife seemingly has many friends although I notice she will have conflict if they have close proximately for any length of time like a vacation or cruise together. Always a conflict comes up and animsosity. Her best friends now though all seem to be very narcisistic.

Yes, Borderlines use other Borderlines to support their false selves. One person usually appears to be a narcissist but that appearance is only to entice others into the fantasy World they live in. That fantasy world exists to deflect blame. There is clinging/distancing behaviors that keep two Borderlines in orbit around each other with justifications against escape. This can keep both people fixated on the others perceived flaws and disallow any type of self actualization.  In other words, two Borderlines would be both prisoners of a cruel World in which they cannot escape- therefore they embrace it and debate each other over about who has/or had the most trauma in life.

I am not sure. I just know that my uBPD mother has some odd friends. Everything will be fine for a while, and then there will some unholy blow up, and contact is cut off. She runs to me with terrible stories of them, and then when she has made up with them, and I express concern, I am told that I "don't like anyone", and that I don't "approve" of any of her friends and so she doesn't tell me when she goes out with them any more.

One of them that she introduced me to, and whom she no longer sees, as far as I know, was positively crazy. She wanted all my personal information, and it took me 5 seconds to work out that it was because she was an insurance agent. After my dad passed away in 2008 (she had never met him), she asked my mother for my e-mail address to contact me because he had been speaking to her from beyond the grave!

My mother sent the e-mail she had sent my mother setting out what he had supposedly said to her. Aargh! My mother just has no proper idea of how to select "normal" people - it's as if that function just does not work.

My uBPDexbf has one best friend in the world and I'm pretty sure he's an alcoholic.  The guy also talks about himself ALL the time.  My ex and this guy grew up in the same neighborhood and have remained loyal friends ever since.

I once told him that I wasn't crazy about his best friend or his wife (they just seemed self-absorbed) but that I didn't mind hanging out with them sometimes and I often encouraged him to have guy time with his best friend.  I don't think my ex could see the gray in that and therefore went months without contacting his best friend.  Several months later I learned that he hadn't contacted his best friend because, according to him, I didn't like them!  I tried to reiterate that I didn't mind them and wanted him to have guy time with his friend but that I wasn't going to be best friends with them because I just didn't click with them.  He didn't understand and thought that couples should have the same friends... .he's now with his best friend's wife's best friend.

Geez, just talking about this is making my head spin!  I'm so glad the craziness is out of my life.

Yup. Read somewhere that BPDs usually fall in love with NPDs. What a mix right? I've seen this with some of my relatives too, kind of supports that theory.

My uBPD/ASPD(?) brother is married to an uBPD woman. All my siblings have been involved in abusive PDed relationships--I believe due to uBPD Momster's influence. One of my toxic friends was BPD and had a long relationship with a NPD as well.

Even if you are a non, if you grow up thinking these rages & behaviors are normal you will gravitate towards sick friends/mates. Also, your boundaries won't be strong and these PDed people can walk all over you... .so they are attracted to you. See also:

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=108307.0

Helped me lots.