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We rarely communicate. When we do its via text and its regarding pick up/drop off. The past few months she hardly has seen our daughter so she has left me alone, hardly writes or calls me. But today... .oh today...

she blew up my phone via text messages. Bringing up the past ... saying i was an abuser... .etc... etc. .  What set her off was a facebook post from last weekend. I have her blocked but for some reason that post was made public and she was able to read it.  It was a comment about how I missed our daughter and how I couldnt wait for her to be home...   She started on the people that commented in typical BPD fashion. Then attacked me some more. 

Made me sick today at work... literally sick. I'm already dealing with the effects of anxiety and whenever she starts on me I react physically. I need to really learn to not let it all get to me.

My mom sent me a text message. Asked me how my day was going. I called her and she mentioned that my BPDw had sent her text messages... she told my mom that she doesnt like drama and then proceeded to tell her countless lies just loads of BS. .  Shocked but not surprised that she wrote my mom but she obviously wants a reaction out of me.  After the 4 hr span of craziness today she then decided to change the subject and ask me when our daughter was going to be home. She made it seem as though she wanted to pick her up.  One thing that I'm afraid of is our 4 yr old daughter being around her mother while she has an episode or acts out.  She wrote me 5 times with the same text... when will our daughter be home?  about 2 hrs later I responded and let her know that we had plans all afternoon and evening. She then said she would get her tomorrow. .  I'm glad I dont live with her anymore. But still frustrated at the fact that she has access to texting me and now texting my mother... its just ridiculous.   

People act crazy because you are there to see it. What if you become invisible then their act means nothing.

BY the way, you need to confront her that she must and needs not text your mother.

If text message is the only way you can communicate, then texting it is.


Was there a reason that you waited two hours to respond to her text? In those two hours she sent the same text 5 times to get a response from you. In your reply, you did not answer her with a specific time- but said that you "had plans all afternoon and evening." The lack of specific time might be why she gave up on getting a concrete answer and said she would arrange pick up the next day- but this vague lack of boundary just kicks the can down the road- and you have to realize that by doing this- you'll get the same text again from her the next day- with the same question.

Why not be more specific- state a time and then abide by it? Texting a boundary is easier because it's a message rather than a conversation.

When you receive the first text- respond with a time for her, otherwise you run the risk of appearing passive aggressive- and causing her to contact your Mother out of frustration. Boundaries are needed and can be implemented by you for the benefit of all parties.  She's not going to go away for good because she's the Mother of your child. She will always be in your life as long as you share custody of your child. Your Mother is also a part of the child's family and texting her should be allowed.  |iiii

I waited hrs to reply to her text because prior to the texts asking me what time our daughter would be home she was sending bogus texts trying to get me to react. I didnt reply right away because I knew that she wanted me to do. I wanted to give her time to calm down as she seemed like she was on a text rampage. I also didnt want her to pick up our daughter in a state of rage or dysregulation.

she had contacted my mother hrs prior. Not wondering where my daughter was or what time she would be home. But more so to paint me black and to make up things about me...   She only asked about our daughter when she realized I was ignoring all of her previous attacks via text message.

She picked up our daughter a few minutes ago... had that raged look in her face... that scary BPD look...    

so far she hasnt given me a reason to keep her away from her.  Our little one comes back ok... a little cranky and

moody but besides that no scars or anything. Luckily she has kept her distance and not seen her the past months... rarely contacts me but as of yesterday she's acting different... sending me text messages about the past, painting me black... now acting as though she wants to have our daughter more. I think its because she's convinced the new guy that they should have her... If I had the financial backing I would get an attorney and seek full custody of her because I know that with BPD it only gets worse... its just the way it has been... Its not like the dBPDw is seeking help or getting better...   I feel that as her father I'm to protect her from any possible harm... or a harmful environment.