BPDFamily.com

Hi everyone.

I need advice to not make my situation worse... .

I broke up with my exBPDbf becasue I found out he was sleeping around and doing sexual crazy stuff behind my back and got the evidence from a common friend.

I had been in NC for over a month.

He suddenly emailed me a week ago to talk about money he owes me. He said he can pay me back soon.

I did not expected he pays me back and said I don't need the money when we broke up, but he said he will.

I replied to him and said "Ok pay me back due the end of this month. I will not wait any longer." because I have already waited for 4 months and really wanted to end this mess asap. That's it.

However, he emailed me this morning and said "I can not afford all 800. I can pay only 100 now. Im telling you that I will pay you back! You piss me off, stop being f***ing ass! If you try to break my life, I will F**k YOUR life blah blah blah... ."

I think he is afraid that I have some evidnce and can break his life.

I am not interested in his messy life anymore, I just want to get out completely. but he seems to be upset and never hear me.

Shoud I ignore this completely? or should I reply to him and say "I don't need the money and am not interseted in breaking your life. Just get out of my life."?

Im concerned that he knows number & email address of my company.

(I live in another country and don't need to worry about his visit.)

I will appreciate any advice, I really want to end this mess... .

Your time is valuable. So is your peace of mind. Let him keep the $800 and consider it money well spent to get him out of your life. You'll have many more opportunities to earn $$$ in the future- don't haggle over what's owed to you. Paying you back could take years. Payback to a character disordered individual always comes with angry accusations- never sincere thanks.

If there ever was a lesson to learn it's this: Borderlines can play the part of professional victims better than authentic victims. Even in all fairness, when money is lent with good intentions, the Borderline will harbor a persecution complex when confronted. Don't give him the opportunity to play the victim. Cut him out of your life and let go of the money. It's the best way out.  |iiii

Ignore. The only way to get them out is to ignore and go strictly NC

2010

Thank you so much for your advice!

You are right, I have a full time job, I should consider I paid 800 to end this mess and start my new life without him lol

I wanted him to pay me back becuse I could not stand that he might be sleeping around by using the money, but I know I should not care about that and move on completely.

I got another email from him a couple hours ago. He changed his attitude and said "I am sorry for getting mad at you. I promise I will pay you back and just wanna make sure you are happy."

... .sigh, what he says never make sense  ?

Of corese I have not replied to him.

I will ignore all his contact!

needPeace

Thank you so much for your advice :)

I really want to get him out and focus on my new life.

I will block his email address and number! Thank you for reminding me of most important thing!