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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: KE151 on March 25, 2012, 02:54:19 PM



Title: Use of own child as supply / replacement?
Post by: KE151 on March 25, 2012, 02:54:19 PM
My exuBPDgf is now a single mum (she could already have found someone new though). WHAT IF she cannot find a "proper" replacement i.e. man, sex, highs, or it ends up in trouble early on, can she / will she use her own child somehow as supply?

Terrible thought as the 5 yr old girl is so sweet and i care for her deeply. But, knowing the girl, she is already presenting very real emotional stability issues of her own, a miniBPD in the making.


Title: Re: Use of own child as supply / replacement?
Post by: GreenMango on March 25, 2012, 04:02:51 PM
KE151,

Unfortunately mentally ill people can be woefully bad parents... .shoot non-mentally ill people can be woefully bad parents.  Parenting is an art and a skill good parents realize.  Some people have kids for selfish reasons... .it happens and it affects their kids.  Your right it is sad... .if it was your child you could do something about it.  Sadly, it is her child. Not much you do there.

-GM


Title: Re: Use of own child as supply / replacement?
Post by: refuge on March 25, 2012, 10:05:44 PM
Yes.Absolutley

I dated a cluster B for 3 years,she had a 12 year old... he was 8 when I met him. It runs in family lines. In looking back, I believe she is full dissociative identity disorder. She used to tell me in bed why her son was so good about going to bed on his own and on time. When he was a baby she would let him cry himself to sleep.Trouble is thats not what happens, they go into shock and dissociate. When this happens all through childhood you have the makings of a multiple or DID child right out of the box.

I suspect now she had a companion alter his age. I could tell now because they would pair up- and it was like they were in sync talking to me about something (she) wanted ... its weird stuff...

The ones with abondonment disorders tend to use there children as surrogate spouses. Her father , who I'm fairly certain abused her into adult hood, would show up on her doorstep everytime a wife left him.



Title: Re: Use of own child as supply / replacement?
Post by: borderdude on October 08, 2014, 09:28:54 AM
Does supply means you are being idolized ... .in this case of your parent?


My bipolar/BNP mother did not do that i yhink, she usually projected her bad traits to me, parenified me, but most she projected her hate towards my (divorsed) father onto me.