BPDFamily.com

this is probably a topic belonging on another board but those people are at different stages than the people ive been relating with well on this board. My question is simple... .  does anyone have a success story with life after death(all pun intended)... .  has anyone been able to feel love again for another person like you loved your BPDex? Its not fair to compare or judge others but i can tell you other girls dont even interest me at all beyond a physical attraction level... .  they all seem so blah and dull and boring... .  they drink... talk to d bag guys... .  and are not at all on the same level as me emotionally or maturity wise... .  im almost looking for the one i can settle down with and raise a family... .  why waste my time on anything else that doesnt really catch my fancy? Before my BPDex i stayed single all through college... .  i had met a few girls but none felt as special as my BPDex... .  everything clicked with her so easily (damn you mirror!)... .  anyway... i feel ok most days now with my life... its just lonely most days all my friends are busy with life and their gfs... .  i digress... .  and repeat my question:has anyone found success in moving on and rediscovering how to love again? Not just yourself, but another... .  not only that... .  but can you ever really forget your BPDex? Ive met people who said they never really got over this one girl... and the older gentleman that told me that said even his wife knew that... .  he was clearly still hurt and wounded and im not sure he even loved his wife the way he loved this other girl... .  gotta be someone out there who has broke the code? Anyone?

afterdeath... .  initially I thought "maybe this is a topic for the L4 or L6 boards... .  (maybe the powers that be will decide that is where is needs to be)... .  

On reflection I think your initial topic is appropriate for here at leaving:detaching... .  

Understanding that our attachment to our ex's was unhealthy surely begs the question "ok, why were we so enmeshed with someone so dysfunctional?"... .  

Why did we choose to be with a partner who is exhibiting such shocking behaviour?... .  

What is it about US that allowed us to tolerate the abuse?... .  

Until we address and answer those questions we can't detach... .  unless we choose to hold onto blame, anger and resentment.  Thats sort of detaching but we carry it as an emotional weight.

I don't want to love someone in the manner I did before when I experienced BPD... .  it was enticing, fantastic... .  then truly shocking on a scale words wouldn't describe... .  

My success story IS starting to love myself... .  I appreciate thats not the answer you were looking for  :)

I am not going to forget my BPD ex... .  s (plural)... .  they led me on this path to who I am  |iiii

Buying into the emotional connection with them would mean diving back into the swimming pool of lust, desire, craving, need, desperation, anger, retaliation... .  etc!

I am a better person as a result of these experiences... .  hopefully, someday someone else will appreciate that and we will "click" 

Understanding why and how we "loved" them is our path to personal development  |iiii

My success story is where I am right now  :)

thankyou newtown i highly appreciate your deep understanding of my fraggled topic. I tend to skip alot of detail as im usually posting from my phone at work and a giant kudos goes out to anyone that understands the full meanings of my posts as i go back and reread them after i post and think... .  noone will understand what that means i forgot to put so much or type it right... .  but you seemed to hit it 100%... .  yes i wasnt sure it belonged here either as i think the L6? Board has a success stories thread... .  but i kind of wanted to guage the detachers as that is where i am... .  so i guess the verdict here will mostly be... .  we arent quite there yet in finding that special someone... .  but we are definetly finding ourselves and prepping ourselves to be a success story... .  well interpreted again newton... .  its made me reflect and feel better... .  cheers to you and good luck in finding the right one... .  good luck to all of us... .  i know ill need it hahaha... it takes me so long to become so fully invested in someone... .  or to be even interested enough. Hoping to feel that click again someday with someone very special. :)