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Title: First attempt at breaking the cycle Post by: determined NMS on January 06, 2013, 03:17:30 AM Yesterday I had the first telephone conversation with dd since we had had a big argument a week before (I had suggested that maybe she has BPD, this didn't go down well and I later discovered this probably wasn't a wise move... . ) We had had a couple of emails but yesterday was the first time we spoke. Initially she was quite angry with me and telling me that it is me who should have a good look at my behaviours, that I should consider the flaws in my character that she tells me about and how I have upset her and my mother. I used the validation (https://bpdfamily.com/content/communication-skills-validation) technique, saying I understand how she feels, how distressing this is for her and I should consider these things. T
he conversation calmed down and we were able to continue chatting about stuff for another 1/2 hour |iiii she also was open to discussing BPD, although not for long. She said she had been online and done a test for BPD and the result said she has it. We discussed positives that could come from being diagnosed and getting help for it. It felt good Title: Re: First attempt at breaking the cycle Post by: Survive2012 on January 06, 2013, 04:32:20 AM Dear Determined NMS,
I have read that succeeding in having your kid going to therapy is not an aim but an achievement. Therefore, I think you must be happy that your daughter is becoming aware she might have BPD. If she knows, then she will accept help. I am happy for you! I hope this is going to be the beginning of a new emprovement stage. Well done with the validation! Survive Title: Re: First attempt at breaking the cycle Post by: crazedncrazymom on January 06, 2013, 05:03:03 AM Woo Hoo! Party time! Doesn't it feel good to be able to change how the conversation would normally go? Doesn't it feel great to actually feel like you helped your dd? Awesome! I still get that feeling and pat myself on the back everytime a conversation goes well (or at least not as horribly wrong as it used to) with my dd15.
Great job mom! Title: Re: First attempt at breaking the cycle Post by: js friend on January 06, 2013, 07:34:41 AM I bet it felt really good, and so it should... . That is an amazing breakthrough detiremined NMS. |iiii
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