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I wasn't expecting it but I was prepared for it. The ex emailed me because she broke up with my replacement. I was kind of manipulated into believing she contacted me to find closure. I did sort of get that. So I'm OK. But in the end I realized she just wanted my help with her recent break-up. I gave it to her.

I'm pleased with myself because I wasn't that touched by it. I realized that I have moved on. There's still some lessons to be learnt but I see the light and know exactly what's going on with people and their agendas.

Just some good news. It feels great to be so strong now. I've really learnt so much from the experience.

I want to thank everyone here. I couldn't have done it without these boards.

NY-LON

That's fantastic NY-LON !   Thank you for sharing this.  I'm sure it wasn't easy to have contact with your ex, and you came through with flying colors.  It's wonderful to hear of your success and most importantly, to hear how changed and strong you feel.

Congratulations  |iiii

Thank you. We both got something out of it. I got some closure and she got some support. That's the way life can be and should.

Hi Ny-lon

Thanks for sharing this. I'm glad you got some closure; I too found contact helped me to have some closure and it felt sort of 'normal' to be able to offer some support to someone I actually care about and shared a huge part of myself with (amongst quite a bit of madness too of course!).


I believe that's what recovery is truly about; you have got yourself to a place where your ex can't find a way in through the weak spots now.

Did it help you to identify the specific things you still want to work on (I'm not asking what they are, just if this might have highlighted things more than NC did)?

Awesome! It's good to see that you are doing better for yourself by not letting it get you. It means your strong, and you can handle yourself mentally. This is real good.

It made MY day a little better knowing someone could do it.

It certainly helped identify what's left that needs seeing to. I won't deny it didn't knock me for 6 - it did, but it did not have a prolonged effect on me. It makes me all the more determined to move on in life. The best thing is I see her for what she truly is - a very sick and twisted person. My feelings towards her have radically changed.

@ Vatz I'm glad this made your day. It gives us light at the end of the tunnel.

Ny-lon

Good job.

Saw my exBPDgf last week... and it went terrible, I called her on the carpet on just one thing she had done... that was all it took. She did share with me that the guy she ran to after me... .  things didn't work out, she said he used her (?)... then said he was living off her (not bloody likely... in 3 yrs she gave me one thing worth $100... after I had bought her a living room full of furniture)... then she said she got an STD from him. So... I have no idea what happened, guessing STD is about right. But my view of my ex is changing much as yours sounds like it has.

I thought she was the love of my life... .  still had in her my head after 30 yrs... now I believe... my mom was not a very nice warm person (her mom died when she was 5)... and my exBPDgf was the first/only person to show me unconditional love (for a while)... and when you add a cute bouncy blonde/sex to it... I was hooked. Now I see it as... transference from my mom (ick)... and a person with the emotional ability of a 3 yr old... .  ick, probably with an STD. Finally I find myself NOT wanting to be with her.

Keep strong... if its BPD, its an attachment disorder for them... .  and maybe even you... was for me.