BPDFamily.com

Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD => Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD => Topic started by: somuchlove on January 11, 2013, 02:43:33 PM



Title: adding to my post 2 days ago. do I text her again or not
Post by: somuchlove on January 11, 2013, 02:43:33 PM
When my dd text me the other day about worried about bf's son (10) and his behaviors toward their dog, and stabbing the babies face on the diaper boxes, she text me saying I know you don't care, thought you would, etc etc. 

I sent a text back using the advice I got here  "I think you have great reason to be concerned about his behavior. What do you think should be done?  How can I help?" 

she had text me before she got my text, that she guessed I didn't care and wouldn't ever bother me again.  I have heard that many times.  I am really not concerned about her words directed to me.  I understand that.

So do I text her asking how things are or ?  or just wait to here from her.  I don't want her to think I don't care. 


Title: Re: adding to my post 2 days ago. do I text her again or not
Post by: lbjnltx on January 11, 2013, 02:51:57 PM
Depends on here history... .  do simple... .  

"just checking to see if you and the kids are ok"

texts get a reasonable response?


Title: Re: adding to my post 2 days ago. do I text her again or not
Post by: somuchlove on January 11, 2013, 03:04:36 PM
Good idea.  thanks  Sometimes she does a come back by using something I have said, that was not validating to her ( my bad, I am trying)  Like,  "it is tough some times".

Of course I have been removed as a facebook friend.  AGAIN     I would like to call bf to see how things are but I know that is going behind her back.  He and I do have a good relationship and he is trying very hard except for his struggle with his son and not realizing he needs to do something.  I sometimes want to talk to him to find out how she really is.  I know he called me a couple times about something and I ask how things were and he said fine.  Yet she was telling me totally different.  Here I was worried and not sleeping and she was good. 

He also told me, ( he doesn't realize we think our dd has BPD ) ( she fits it pretty close )  but he said he ask her sometimes if she just wakes up in the morning and  finds something to be mad about.  When the things that she has been upset about gets better she finds something else.  Then she hangs on something that happened a year or two ago.

That is what is so hard.  She really has so much to be happy about.  She really is not in a bad place.   Why why can't they see it.  And of course if someone points that out... .    it is not good.