BPDFamily.com

No one is going to take an abduction complaint from him.

#1 - he’d have to tell them that you took S11 to Other State for 4 days. They are going to laugh him out of their office.  I believe they would have to get certified copies of  the court orders and would look at the current court case and would see that his visitation is being restricted. If he tried to give them an old order and left out the new stuff, he could be criminally charged with making a false complaint.  In a civil case, he might even have to file a writ of habeas corpus, which would involve the court file, once again and no judge is going to issue that. No police involvement would ever happen without a writ, unless he could make a compelling case that a crime has occurred and S11 is in danger with you. “Oh, he lives with her?” “They are going to Other State for 4 days?”  Really. "Get a life buddy."

Not necessary, but you can also call the Prosecutors office and tell them what is going on and see what their procedure is when someone files an abduction complaint - they see this all the time and are not going to just do what he says.  If they have any kind of domestic violence section, I’d talk to them, too.  Because this is the tactic of abusers and they should know what happens.

#2 OR he’ll have to say that  he doesn’t know where you went. “why do you think they are gone?” “I didn’t get my visitation.” When is your visitation? 4 hours on Sat and Sunday. “It’s only Tuesday (22nd) buddy."  You might want to take a copy of your itinerary and file it in the court file. Just take it to the clerk and ask them to file it under your cause #.  Anyone trying to figure out whether you have a right to travel with S11 will see it. Again a false complaint... .  for a lawyer? He’s turning up the heat on his cooked goose.

Hopefully, the PC will respond. I looked up the statute about her authority and it specifically says she has no liability for anything when acting as a PC, so his threats to sue her are empty and he knows it.  Can you imagine what a judge would say if he tried something like this - if it were possible - but it’s not - and it caused all that trauma to S11?  In the best interests of his child?  I don’t think so.

But that doesn't mean N/BPDx can't make things difficult. He is implying that he will contact law enforcement about the "abduction" and I'm guessing that means at our destination.

Do you have the authority from the PC in writing? If so take it with you, if not get one and take it with you.

I feel like he does this a lot?

Big talk.

Not much follow thru.

My husband's ex-wife does that... .  in the moment she doesn't get her way (i.e. "no, you can't have the girls Christmas Day early, we have plans" she offers up a big threat (i.e "I'm calling the police and my lawyer!". Then 9 times out of 10 she accepts the reality and deals with it.

It's hard to stay grounded in amongst these threats, so I'm glad you're choosing to try not to worry about it, but still be prepared in case something happens. I have a feeling that all will be fine.

Wishing you and your son safe travels. :)

~DreamGirl

Perhaps you could contact the law enforcement in advance and give them a "heads up".  I did that.  When I announced to my Nut Job that I was divorcing her, I first called the local police department and let them know in case things got crazy.

My ex did that during my divorce.  I gave her an advance vacation notice.  She said no.  I said it was a notice, not a request.  My lawyer said to have a nice vacation.  Predictably, she claimed I had abducted my child.  My local police called me about it when I was about 4 states away, almost to the mountains.  She went to the county sheriff's office when I didn't show up for the exchange and tried to get them to send out an Amber Alert.  Fortunately, the deputy on duty gave an emotionally neutral answer, "it didn't meet the criteria for Amber Alert".  A sheriff's investigator was assigned, my lawyer was contacted, issue resolved as far as officialdom was concerned, turned out my then-stbx filed a complaint against the investigator.  You can imagine that didn't go over well at the agency.

Your ex sees any change in the status quo as a trigger for renewed claims.  He already looks bad, so he is trying to make you look worse than him.  Simply leaving the state for a few days is trigger enough for him.

Just do your reasonable best, get the officials to give the okay, carry paperwork with you at all times if at all possible.

You need to give your ex a bigger shovel to dig his hole a bit faster.

I'm at the weary stage now where it isn't the fear about what he will do, it's the irritation with the amount of time and cost it takes. I miss having a savings account 

Remarkably not interested in the truth.

Dear LnL,

NPD's cannot stand it if they aren't getting enough attention.  Don't give him the satisfaction.  It'll only encourage him.  I'd carry the paperwork and let the rest go.  He's looking like a maniac.  They honestly lack the ability to see how they come across, which is their Achilles Heel and part of their ultimate undoing.  Document, explain it to your son and let it go, showing that you are going on with your life just fine.  You've done enough.  He's painting his own picture for all to see.

I know first hand what these maniacs do to our financial health, but how has this impacted your physical well being?  Are you OK?

Caring about you---

Stuckin between

I wouldn't even encourage your son to talk to your ex.  I stopped encouraging my dau to talk to her dad because I had to learn to trust her to know how much exposure to his toxins she could handle.  Not much right now, as it turns out.  NPDs aren't emotionally safe for kids.  So I shut up and act neutral about whether she talks to him or not.  Since I've started the neutrality stance, she opens up to me more about him.  I realize I was giving her mixed messages.  Dau could see how he'd treated me so why would I encourage her to expose herself to his poison?

Stuckinbetween