BPDFamily.com

In the context of marriage counseling before our divorce now my ex wife w BPD told me she had BPD and then the psychiatrist ( the one that did the actual evaluations of her and me ) explained what it is to us. ( at first I thought she was explaining Bipolar to me but I learned the difference a month or two later )

Now my ex tells me I can't say that she has BPD because it is a HIPA violation and she will not deny or confirm what she said.

I think that's bunk ... .  

The head of the psychiatric department told me that she does indeed have it.

Is that a HIPA violation? He knes she told me in that last meeting before she divorced me

Your ex is the person who told you that she has BPD, and the psychiatrist just explained it. As your wife is not (I assume) in the medical industry, then she is reporting this to you as a lay person. And as far as I can tell, that would not be a HIPAA violation. One layperson to another so to speak.

It would be different though if the psychiatrist was going around telling all and sundry, as that would most likely be deemed a HIPAA violation (as it is the medical profession who coe under HIPAA). Was the head of the psychiatric department the person who did the counselling?

Does it matter?  If she is BPD, or whatever, if she caught - even if you weren't - you saying that she was BPD, she would deny it, then maybe project BPD onto you.  Even if you do know, I wouldn't say a word to anyone.  Let EVERYONE else find out for themselves.  And, as said, SHE told you and I'd guess that not much of what she tells you is true?  So.  My ex had admitted to being diagnosed ADHD at the start of marriage counseling - 6 COUNSELORS we used over less than four years.  Now, our S8 has been diagnosed ODD, then possibly autistic and maybe Asberger's.  Now, after school evaluations, she didn't believe the ODD diagnosis, said, "it isn't S8."  The fact of the matter is/was, all of his behaviors had been modeled for him, by her.  So now, she forces an alternate evaluation through school at a reputable hospital.  During the course of filling out paperwork through the process, she fails to admit being diagnosed ADHD, doesn't put that on any of the paperwork with school or the hospital.  When we meet with the evaluating Dr. she says, "I'm over the ODD label and not necessarily saying he is ADHD, let's just find out WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM!" 

I guess what I'm saying, you can't assume anything that is said by a BPD individual is remotely true for two reason, one, they're all liars, two, if they're not liars they're so caught up in their own distortions they can't remember waht was the real reality that their story changes every time they speak.  And besides, like in my case, it could be even worse than BPD or ADHD.

Why do you want to tell others that she has BPD?

And who are you wanting to share this information with?

Just curious.

turtle

Can she sue you for libel or slander?  Probably not, though I'm not a lawyer.  She disclosed it to you or in your presence.  She can't undo it.  It is what it is.  However, it might have been in a setting where confidentiality was expected to a certain extent, so that may be something to consider.  Another factor is whether she was actually diagnosed or she was just 'told' that.  Though you might inform those close to you and those you feel have a need to know, you wouldn't go on a TV show and state it.

You shouldn't just hang a label on her either.  That's a disservice to all since there can be such a wide range of behaviors and behavior severity.

Use good judgment.  Of course, your ex will still complain, deny and project that you're the real problem, etc.  She will do what she will do.  You just need to give priority to identifying and handling the behaviors and issues.

We almost sound like a couple of "them" jumping to conclusions.  Nobody said nothing about telling anyone else, just our assumption. 

Read the topic of the thread. It does shed some light on this. |iiii

I'm just a nerd on the Internet, so take the following with a grain of salt:

My understanding is that unless your wife told the psychiatrist to not share details of her mental health condition, the doctor was within his rights to tell you. Most doctor offices would be able to document whether she did not give consent. I believe HIPAA does not apply between you and your wife. It's to protect you from medical professionals and insurance companies and employers from mishandling your private information, and potentially causing discrimination.

The HIPAA policy notice reads:

You have the right to request a restriction or limitation on the health information used or disclosed about you for the purpose of treatment, payment or health care operations. You also have the right to request that we restrict or limit health information about you that we may use or disclose to someone who is involved in your care such as a family member. For example, you could ask that we not use or disclose information about the medication you are taking to your spouse or significant other.

Curious who your ex thinks you would tell, or have told. My ex is currently going through a psych eval, and I'll be in the same boat if he is diagnosed BPD.  

There's a story my lawyer told me when I asked why I wasn't allowed to keep a copy of the court's own Parenting Investigation report.  He said it's all because of an incident many years ago.  A parent had taken a favorable report, made copies and thoughtlessly put them under windshield wipers on all the vehicles in the neighborhood.   You can imagine the court's reaction.  Going forward, the court told the lawyers and professionals that all reports by the court's own social workers were highly confidential and not distributed to the parents/spouses.

I recall too that the custody evaluator's report to the court was declared sealed.  Though I know what the initial report said since it was delivered to the lawyers, there were additional incidents before we went to court on Trial Day and the CE handed in an updated report never to be seen again.

However, that's far different than what you've described, that you heard your spouse or ex-spouse state such and such.  You are not gagged.  Hey, I know my ex has described me very badly and even as a suspected and alleged child abuser to others including professionals such as child therapists, CPS, doctors, police, sheriff deputies, sheriff investigator, etc.  That's typical since people with BPD and other similar acting-out PDs almost always refer to ALL past relationships as abusive ones.  She suffered no (direct) consequences for doing that.  So I don't find that I need to keep my lips sealed either.  Still, I try to be careful what I say and to whom.  You want to be careful what you say and to whom.  Likely any threats and pressure to stay silent are toothless ones but you don't want to invite trouble.  So consider your actions and statements carefully.  Neither do you want to give any reason for the court to consider you as a problem person, though I've noticed that court often ignores most of the minor conflicts.