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Title: What IS working Post by: LetItBe on January 25, 2013, 01:07:56 PM I've recently reunited with my uBPDbf. It's been almost a month now since I responded to him reaching out to me a few times during our 6 1/2 months of NC. It's obvious we've BOTH been spending our time wisely, healing and growing ourselves. I am so impressed with his efforts, and what I've been learning from the members on this board has been absolutely priceless.
What has been working on my end is that I've dropped the judging and criticizing. I am very mindful about validation (https://bpdfamily.com/content/communication-skills-validation) and my communication in general. Also -- and I think this is very important -- I'm "gently inserting space" (thank you, patientandclear) to allow us room to grow. That means physical space as well as energetic space. Meditation helps, and so does having a productive, full life that includes him but doesn't revolve around him. These are huge improvements for someone like me who's been so codependent all of her life. I know it won't always be easy, and I still have a lot to learn about S.E.T., JADE, and everything else. It's amazing how something that was so painful has turned into a positive vehicle for my growth (and his). I've learned so much about myself through this relationship and the support I've received on this board. Title: Re: What IS working Post by: yeeter on January 25, 2013, 04:40:37 PM Thanks for sharing!
Sounds like you were able to learn, change your own behavior, and change your situation for the better! Congratulations and well done! |iiii |