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Just curious ... .  Has anyone tried hypnosis to get ever this?  I guess maybe I'm looking for some sort of short cut, but if it can make you not want a cig maybe it could work. ?

not heard  of hypnosis - no

specifically, what are you trying to get over?  There are EMDR therapies for ptsd that work well if you are having ptsd symptoms.

Heh... .  I've wondered this myself.  For me, I've wondered if it could stop that awful "wanting" of the person.  I do often feel as though this is an addiction. 

I'd pay most of my life savings to forget every experience with my BPDex. As is, I'll be lucky to keep what was a successful engineering career moving forward. Just can't focus.

I feel you, I wish I could erase all 7 years with my ex like it never happened.  Just like the movie eternal sunshine of the spotless mind.

I didn't use hypnotherapy to help me after my brief but damaging r/s with a man exhibiting BPD traits - but I have used it before to counter stress so I think it could be useful as part of a 'letting go' process.

I found hypnotherapy very helpful - but like most things it's dependent on the quality of the practitioner - and it is expensive (at least where I live) so I'd get a strong recommendation from a friend before trying it. I would also say that it takes quite a few sessions to see results.

What can help is that many pracitioners will teach you how to do hypnotherapy on yourself. It's not complicated - but does require you to be disciplined about setting aside 20 minutes a day over a period of a few weeks. I found this useful too.

The basic idea is to work out what messages need to be given to your subconscious mind - perhaps about 'letting go' - then to go through a process to get yourself into deep relaxation and repeat these messages to yourself while you're very relaxed. You then gently bring yourself out of the relaxation. I can talk you through it in more detail via PM if you're interested.

If done right it should be calming - but I'd say it would only be one part of a programme to move yourself forward.

All the best. WWT

Many years ago I was trained in hypnosis... and it can work for some things, but you still have to pretty tightly identify what it is you are wanting to accomplish. EMDR is the same way, it can help overcome trauma reactions, so if you can pin down what freaks you out they can reduce the symptoms/reaction to it. With a r/s with a pwBPD... .  what would you be aiming at? Forgetting them isn't likely to work, lessening your attraction to them ... .  maybe.

People get attached to other people for very deep seated reasons. Attachment theory kind of spells it out ... .  and its unpleasant to me anyway... that the relationships you had early in life, mostly with your mother, to a lesser degree other significant people... affects how you define love and what appeals to you. According to "A general theory of love" ... excellent book by the way, the way it works is that you make a mental template of what love is as a baby... and it is based on your mother and your interaction with her. Then over time you modify that template a bit, but it is your basis for loving relationships from then on. Then... when you meet someone, if they resonate with you, and you with them... .  its those very deep seated models matching up. So, if the person you are with is disordered... very good chance you seek someone close to the one you have now... and a very good chance you may have your own issues. With BPD people NPD is common for the traits of the person they respond to. Irregardless of that... .  hypnosis gives you mostly a way to make something more or less intense, draw someone in to the experience more, or help them detach and feel it less, that is what it seems to work best with, in my experience.

For the attachment you have that holds you back from leaving painlessly... you might get a bit less hurt going, but your template of relations, your self wouldn't be changed. I would love a quick fix as I have gone through a lot of torment trying to get apart from my pwBPD. The comments that it depends on the practitioner were dead on, about 70% of everything is your T and your relationship with them... the exact therapy they use and so forth is less of a factor, from all I have read.

The kinds of things I have seen done with hypnosis, like giving someone a phobia (of something they want to avoid for instance)... is not magical, its a type of one-shot learning, and can be done with operant conditioning. You could have someone hook you up to a stun gun and each time you are tempted to contact you pwBPD shock you... and if you had the guts to stick with it you would probably not want to contact her... though you would be more likely to ommit that you were going to and get unhooked to keep from getting shocked. So... is hypnosis the easy fix... I doubt it would make much difference, it doesn't address the fundamental issues... .  what in you makes you want to be with a person you see as abusive enough to want to get away from them? And if you make a break for it and get away... .  and manage to stay away (which is hard if you have an attachment issue going with them)... will you really be set for normal healthy relating from here on out? Or do you need to work on yourself?

I have a T that does EMDR... and says he will do it for me, but so far we haven't found anything related to the pwBPD to go after, as the whole r/s was a train wreck but no one part was traumatizing to me... if you try it and get good results... please let us know what they did, it is conceivable it could help... .  just not a clear choice of a way to go about it.