BPDFamily.com

A few weeks ago I posted that I initiated an email to my ex. My reason for doing so, at the time, was to head off the every two week contact from him to me. He responded promptly, in a friendly, but ambiguous manner, and included one sentence that was a complete lie. "I did not know that you are now working in X-town." He most certainly DID know this. However, now he can't "accidentally" bump into me, since my relocation to an office must closer to him is out in the open.

Anyway, I received a lot of responses from folks on this board asking me great questions I could not answer, such as what I hoped to accomplish by being the initiator of contact. I think perhaps I can now answer that question. I guess I was hoping to somehow end the ongoing contact he kept initiating with me, because that seems to have been the effect. Since our last very pleasant exchange, there has been nothing. Absolutely nothing. He now knows where I am working, has all of my contact information, but has gone completely silent, even staying off FB. Even though it has only been 2-1/2 weeks , this is the longest we have ever gone no contact in three years.

He never split me black. But he did things that were so hurtful I had to back way, way off from him and the relationship, to the point we pretty much just let each other go. He left the job where we worked together so intensely last July. It has taken me this long to detach from him, although I believe in some ways, he will never truly leave me.

Blessed, I do wish for you that you have drawn that final line by pre-empting him. i understand well the need to wrangle some semblance of control back. Being an anxious reactor isn't much fun. But hey they do often keep coming back and back. Keep that in mind, but go enjoy your more peaceful life as long as possible, hopefully forever in your case.

Lucky Escapee, my life has been more peaceful since I stopped dreading or worrying what might happen next. He may try to make a comeback at some point, but the regular every two week email or FB message seems to have ended for now. But, last Friday I received a call to my desk work phone from a blocked number. As soon as I answered, the caller hung up. Of course I can't prove it was him, but I don't really have any doubt, especially after reading other posters' experiences with hang up calls from blocked numbers.

It's nice to be able to do things other than obsess. It has been a long time since I felt normal.

It sounds like you are ready to move on. Thats great! 2 weeks here NC and thats the longest we have gone in over 2 years, but I'm not sure if I am dreading him contacting me, or somehow wishing to hear from him. Guess I have a ways to go yet. His daughter has also gone NC with me. I am not sure why, we were very close. He may have painted me black to her, or it may be another way of him getting me to contact him, either way it hurts because I was or thought I was, very close to her. She will not answer any of my texts, so I guess I will just have to let it be.

Diane, that must be really hard, the loss of contact with the daughter. You don't know what he may have told her. As for the NC, the email or FB contact every two weeks has been going on between us since October. As time as gone on without telephone or in person contact, it has become easier for me to let him go.  Have stopped dreading any impending contact from him. I don't believe he will ever really let me go, and he will probably appear unexpectedly at my job again one day, but I can't live my life worrying about him anymore. I will just cross that bridge when I come to it. Give yourself time. This is a very hard thing to let go of.

She did contact me yesterday in a text message and told me she was still my friend and there were no hard feelings, so that made me feel better. He apparently has not painted me black to her or she is just not buying it.