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Title: Noticed a difference in his reaction lately good or no? Post by: laelle on January 31, 2013, 02:44:19 PM The other day we were talking and he started on me with the criticizing. This time it was about my kids.
He says he doesnt mean it in a bad way but my kids are always sick and that it must be something in the house making them sick. He doesnt have any children and doesnt really understand that children in school get sick more often than adults. My kids have been sick about 3 times since summer. Anyway, he went on for a while about it and I just validated that I heard what he was saying. He then asked me ":)ont you think so?" I said No... . He stopped, said nothing else and changed the subject. First time this has happened. Normally it ends with me Jading, him going off, me crying and going to bed. Sound like a positive step to you? Title: Re: Noticed a difference in his reaction lately good or no? Post by: patientandclear on January 31, 2013, 04:11:53 PM Completely! On both of your parts!
Title: Re: Noticed a difference in his reaction lately good or no? Post by: laelle on January 31, 2013, 06:05:00 PM Thank you patient. :)
We are both trying really hard. Title: Re: Noticed a difference in his reaction lately good or no? Post by: Grey Kitty on January 31, 2013, 06:20:02 PM First time this has happened. Normally it ends with me Jading, him going off, me crying and going to bed. Sound like a positive step to you? Woo Hoo! That sure does sound positive to me! Especially when you describe what had become "normal!" Excerpt Anyway, he went on for a while about it and I just validated that I heard what he was saying. Keep up the good work! Title: Re: Noticed a difference in his reaction lately good or no? Post by: laelle on February 01, 2013, 06:38:04 AM Thank you Grey Kitty,
Its really nice to get a small taste of reward for all the work that is being put into something. :) Title: Re: Noticed a difference in his reaction lately good or no? Post by: Rockylove on February 01, 2013, 09:05:49 AM |iiii
Title: Re: Noticed a difference in his reaction lately good or no? Post by: laelle on February 01, 2013, 09:21:34 AM Rockylove, thank you
Title: Re: Noticed a difference in his reaction lately good or no? Post by: coworkerfriend on February 01, 2013, 09:23:36 AM That is great - the work you are putting into your relationship is paying off.
Thanks for the inspiration. Small changes can make a difference. Title: Re: Noticed a difference in his reaction lately good or no? Post by: laelle on February 01, 2013, 09:29:53 AM Thank you coworkerfriend,
The very small changes really made me see how I was blaming him for my own issues. I am learning to process my own emotional stuff. That and whine about it here. :) If they mirror you, then it cant hurt to be happy, can it? Title: Re: Noticed a difference in his reaction lately good or no? Post by: coworkerfriend on February 01, 2013, 09:38:21 AM I was doing the same thing - blaming him for how I was feeling about things and my own insecuritites.
My motto of the day is "it is what it is" but you have the power to turn it into not so bad. Title: Re: Noticed a difference in his reaction lately good or no? Post by: laelle on February 01, 2013, 09:42:00 AM Great motto!
Title: Re: Noticed a difference in his reaction lately good or no? Post by: 123Phoebe on February 01, 2013, 06:55:32 PM Hi laelle,
Yes, this was great! Simple and to the point on both your parts (being truthful), agreeing to disagree essentially, with no further drama or upset :) And I totally understand how the little things can mean a lot. Learning how and when to use those two little letters can be very helpful-- N O Sounds like a very positive step to me |iiii |