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Title: do pwBPD hold. grudge? Post by: trevjim on February 05, 2013, 12:10:34 PM the reason I ask is because my expwBPDgf never used to hold a grudge and I wonder if this is just her, or a BPD trait? even her mum and friends always described her as someone who doesn't hold a grudge for long.
I've heard that BPD emotional growth is stunted from when a bad period in their life happened, and as young children don't generally hold grudges for long, could that be the reason why? is this also why BPD can recycle their ex's because they let go of the 'grudge'/ Title: Re: do pwBPD hold. grudge? Post by: hithere on February 05, 2013, 01:28:46 PM I found the exact opposite, she would always say she does not hold grudges but then would bring up some mistake or manufactured mistake I had made in the past to throw in my face.
She would not hold grudges against herself though, it did not matter how nasty she was, she was always willing to forgive (herself) and forget. Title: Re: do pwBPD hold. grudge? Post by: trevjim on February 05, 2013, 01:40:56 PM I found the exact opposite, she would always say she does not hold grudges but then would bring up some mistake or manufactured mistake I had made in the past to throw in my face. She would not hold grudges against herself though, it did not matter how nasty she was, she was always willing to forgive (herself) and forget. Having done some googling, it seems alot of pwBPD do hold grudges, and now you say yours bought up things from the past, mine did too, and it used to catch me of guard how good her memory was. Title: Re: do pwBPD hold. grudge? Post by: trouble11 on February 05, 2013, 02:32:06 PM They are soo all over the place I'm not sure there is a way to tell. I've been black and white in the same day ... . is there any reason to think what they think about others might change just as quickly. Or when it involves someone they don't need something from is it different? Think I just answered my own question ... . lol
Title: Re: do pwBPD hold. grudge? Post by: cal644 on February 05, 2013, 05:15:25 PM My exwBPD would hold grudges for something taken out of context. One mistaken thing and she would build up a wall from that person (she could look them in the face, smile, and it would seem like nothing was wrong and they were best friends) but I knew the real her and her real feelings because she would tell me. She held grudges on me from something I did 20,15,10,5 years ago. She could remember everything and could never let go - for anyone who seemingly wronged her. She could never let go - maybe forget temporarily but never truely let go
Title: Re: do pwBPD hold. grudge? Post by: Take2 on February 05, 2013, 08:04:46 PM My answer? uh YESSSSSSS.
Mine holds a grudge against others he has painted black forever as far as I can tell. And I suspect I will be one of those people someday. possibly soon. Title: Re: do pwBPD hold. grudge? Post by: caps4 on February 05, 2013, 09:13:45 PM Mine hold grudges as well and continually brings up selective events that occurred 5, 10 years ago and skews what actually took place. However, mine also believes they are the one who has always been supportive and been there for me. After trying to rationalize these on several occasions, indicated that we have discussed this previously and don't want to rehash the past. How does one break this cycle when the pwBPD is a sibling?
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