|
Title: help... hurting bad today Post by: afterdeath on February 06, 2013, 04:56:42 PM I have no where else to turn today. Yesterday I was numb and pushed a friend away as I just wasn't in the mood to deal with any one and needed space.
Jokingly I've been blaming my mood on my favorite football team losing the superbowl but it seems it's just the mask hiding my true feelings. I am currently sitting at work with tears built up. I have not cried since December I don't believe. I don't know why I'm growing weaker... . assumingly because of Valentines day approaching but I don't know. I really miss her. I miss her friendship, I miss her companionship, and I miss her daughter who I was considered daddy to. Sorry, just having a weak day and needed to vent, back to sucking back the tears and lifting more heavy boxes. Title: Re: help... hurting bad today Post by: Newton on February 06, 2013, 05:16:39 PM Hey afterdeath... . I'm sorry to hear you are struggling today. It's great you decided to reach out here.
I know the grief can seem overwhelming at times... . I don't see allowing yourself to experience these emotions as "growing weaker"... . quite the opposite in fact. If you have somewhere private, have a damn good cry!... . I always felt this was like the release of days of emotional pressure building up. Things are still very immediate and raw for you... . lean into those feelings... . they will pass. Title: Re: help... hurting bad today Post by: afterdeath on February 06, 2013, 05:23:33 PM Hey afterdeath... . I'm sorry to hear you are struggling today. It's great you decided to reach out here. I know the grief can seem overwhelming at times... . I don't see allowing yourself to experience these emotions as "growing weaker"... . quite the opposite in fact. If you have somewhere private, have a damn good cry!... . I always felt this was like the release of days of emotional pressure building up. Things are still very immediate and raw for you... . lean into those feelings... . they will pass. Thank you Newton. As always I highly appreciate you. Thanks for the tip, you are right, when I do cry it feels like an emotional release, I will give it a good sob fest on the dive home. This reminds me of the Dane cook skit where he plans to have a good cry. Thank you for the validation. At a near six months many are confused at why I'm not over it and what's wrong with me so I just bottle it up to myself mostly going through the motion of the days routine numb to the world until faking it becomes too much and I break down. A good cry may do me some good. Title: Re: help... hurting bad today Post by: Changed4safety on February 06, 2013, 05:26:16 PM A BPD relationship is MUCH different than an ordinary breakup. They are damaged and so are we by the relationship. Few will understand who aren't familiar with how deeply this type of relationship can hurt.
|