BPDFamily.com

Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: cal644 on February 07, 2013, 06:32:50 AM



Title: When I look at my dog I see my wife
Post by: cal644 on February 07, 2013, 06:32:50 AM
It's funny that I never connect the two dots.  But we purchased a dog who was one year old when we got him.  I feed, care, and pet my dog and show him nothing but love.  But something bad happened to him that first year (and must have been from a guy) - there are days he will come up and allow me to pet him but he's terrified and will run from almost everyone.  But then he has days where I come up to pet him or give him a treat and he acts like I'm going to beat him he will even have times where he will pee himself (but it's only for me - because I am a guy).  When I look at my dog - I now see my wife.  Because of his past - he has moments he's loving but no matter how much love I show him he still lives in fear.  His past is so engrained in his brain I don't think he will ever overcome it - just as my wifes past has her living in fear even when she is shown only love.  I wonder if there is a reason my wife chose this dog - they belong together because they both will never be able to trust because of their past.


Title: Re: When I look at my dog I see my wife
Post by: Rose Tiger on February 07, 2013, 07:32:02 AM
Interesting perspective on the dog and your wife comparison.  I hope your dog can overcome his trust issues.  When I got my pup, the breeder said, let him be a puppy the first year, not a lot of discipline.  Wait until the second year to really start any discipline training.  He needs to learn how to play and develop a personality.  A friend of her's that was there agreed.  He said, it's true.  He said, I was too strict the first year with my pup and had to spend the next couple years helping him learn how to play.  I thought, wow, it's like kids, if you are too demanding when they are little, they aren't free to develop a personality either.