BPDFamily.com

My situation is like most others. At least from ALL the research I've been doing.

Current situation is this: The BPD came on hot and heavy in all ways. Lured me in, hook, line and sinker! Now, we're on a "break." Although, i have mentioned the boundaries of the break, it's not being listened to and is being twisted around in every possible angle. While I feel the relationship sadly, NEEDS to be over (NONE of my needs are being met) and have done what needs to be done, she continues to text me, and post things on silly little facebook, clearly, to get me to respond and/or to hurt me.  That part is killing me. It's a direct attack and very painful. Yes, yes, I know the thing "to do" is to block her on FB but, the outrage from her when that has happened is worse.  Feeling rather doomed if I do or don't... .  

This all being a small summary of what is happening, I am wondering if there are any key words to say or key actions to take, other than not responding at all?  I'm doing my best to not be reactionary and take it personally but, it's really HARD. 

In one way, I am hoping we can at least be friends so, it's not as big of a let down? Not sure that can even exist with BPD.  I'm in a place where I want to beat her at her own game so I don't get her wrath.

Looking forward to being understood again.

Thanks.

Hi MakeItHappen... .  who are you more concerned about letting down gently?... .  you... .  or her?... .  

i'm afraid of the fall out from the breakup from her. not quite certain she even realizes that it's over... .  having a very hard time with the attacks i'm receiving.

Yep I do get your concerns... .  being on the receiving end of that vitriol and anger is pretty exhausting... I spent years listening to it when I should have been protecting myself... .  

There is a third way other than reacting or validating... .  it has worked for members here... .  

If you feel the need to respond then keep things as simple, bland and dull as posssible... .  don't invest your emotions in the conversation... .  if she isn't getting her payoff... .  hopefully she will disengage... .  

Is this what you want to happen?... .  or are you swaying more to "leaving"... .  ?

the times i have not responded at all have been far worse so, taking the "emotionless" route, seems to be a good alternative.

no emotions (very hard, since it's hard not to take these things personally), but VERY necessary.

i have no choice but to leave. i've realized that this entire relationship has been a lie.

thanks much for your thoughts.

Then if that is the situation for you I suggest a look at the "leaving and detaching" board... .  they are a friendly bunch of people and will be able to help you through all of this... .  

Literally hundreds of members have been through what you are experiencing right now... .  the realization we have been duped is very tough to deal with... .  perhaps dip your toe in there on L3 and see how it goes?... .  

yep.

thanks much.

:)