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Title: Ex's ? Post by: Apple white on February 09, 2013, 02:14:08 PM Why do a lot of BPD partners go back to their ex's? Even after years apart. Haven't their ex's gone through what we are experiencing? I understand closure is difficult for people with BPD but I don't understand why they take them back. This is quite scary. red-flag
Title: Re: Ex's ? Post by: gettingoverit on February 09, 2013, 04:54:04 PM Not all go back to their ex's. When my xBPDgf was done with you, that was it. On to bigger and better, and unknowing victims. Hard to say why some go back. I think in order for them to go back, the non has to be receptive to them. I'm guessing some nons never figure out that their ex's have a mental disorder, and because they are still most likely in love with their BPD, they often will take them back with open arms. My xBPDgf had an ex who I know without a shadow of a doubt if my xgf would have given him the chance, he would have jumped right back into the hell hole with her. Even five years into our relationship he confessed to me that he still loved her. Whoa! He went through hell with her and yet he would have gotten on the roller coaster ride all over again. That says more about him than it does her, doesn't it?
Title: Re: Ex's ? Post by: trevjim on February 09, 2013, 05:20:16 PM Mines gone back to an ex... . they where together 6 months 5 years ago, she cheated on him. there was no real spark and he is to put it bluntly, really ugly. however this time around she is 'madly in love'
I think its partly because she knew he wouldnt reject her as she is major hot and he is major not. how she fell 'madly in love' i dont know Title: Re: Ex's ? Post by: LuckyEscapee on February 11, 2013, 06:03:35 PM Mine did too. Even though he had painted her black, police had been involved, threats of injunctions etc. I believed him, poor victim him. Now I know better
Perhaps ex partners provide familiarity and some 'safety' attached to that. Ex partners already fell for the illusion once, which won't harm their self esteem. Less likely to reject them possibly. Whether those relationships can work once 'repaired', who knows? Who cares? I don't consider myself an ex, I consider myself an escapee :) |