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Title: Really struggling with loss of step son. Post by: trevjim on February 11, 2013, 02:16:35 PM Quick background fill... . I was with my expwBPD for 2.5 years, she had a 1 year old boy from a previous relationship (the birth day was in jail for abusing her and the boy) when we first started dating, i knew him from his first birthday to the day we split he was 3.5 years old.
myself and him bonded, i helped raise him, he called me daddy and i saw him as my son. when we split we agreed i would still see the boy, the next day she started seeing an ex and said i am no longer able to see him and she wants the new boyfriend to be his dad. So its been 3 months since we split and its obviously been hell moving on from my ex, but i feel i can do it, my problem is i dont know how to deal with the loss of my 'son'. Ive accepted he is no longer my responsibilty and there is nothing i can do about it ( i did try talking her round but i was split black so i got no where.) everything reminds me of him, toys, parks, kids shows, all the things me and him used to do togeather. my nephew still asks where he is when he sees me. its really heartbreaking. Title: Re: Really struggling with loss of step son. Post by: seeking balance on February 11, 2013, 02:35:03 PM I am sorry for this loss trevjim.
In some states, step-parents can get visitation, have you considered consulting an attorney on this? I know the pain of losing a child when you have no choice - it really is heartbreaking. I know this isn't about responsibility - it is about love. My only advice is to consult with an attorney to see if visitation is at all possible. Best, SB Title: Re: Really struggling with loss of step son. Post by: trevjim on February 11, 2013, 02:37:41 PM I am sorry for this loss trevjim. In some states, step-parents can get visitation, have you considered consulting an attorney on this? I know the pain of losing a child when you have no choice - it really is heartbreaking. I know this isn't about responsibility - it is about love. My only advice is to consult with an attorney to see if visitation is at all possible. Best, SB I am from UK, I dont believe i have any legal standings on the matter as i never adopted him. Maybe thats a blessing in disguise as it only gives me one road to go down and that is to move on :'( Title: Re: Really struggling with loss of step son. Post by: seeking balance on February 11, 2013, 02:39:11 PM I am sorry for this loss trevjim. In some states, step-parents can get visitation, have you considered consulting an attorney on this? I know the pain of losing a child when you have no choice - it really is heartbreaking. I know this isn't about responsibility - it is about love. My only advice is to consult with an attorney to see if visitation is at all possible. Best, SB I am from UK, I dont believe i have any legal standings on the matter as i never adopted him. Maybe thats a blessing in disguise as it only gives me one road to go down and that is to move on :'( Many things are grieved from these relationships - I am sorry. |