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Title: I am getting a Valentine's Day Gift that I don't want. Post by: iamconfused on February 13, 2013, 08:36:18 AM BF announced last night that he is going to make me a Valentine's Breakfast! I can sleep in late and stay in bed while he prepares everything.
Gosh, sounds really, really sweet and loving. Everyone of my friends would say how much he loves me. I know better. This 'gift' means that I will have to listen to all the details of what he will do. He started last night - he is going to peel potatoes and chop them up for hashed browns and cook them in butter and they will be just right, he is going to do this, do that, do that some more. I tried to tell him to just surprise me - I will be happy to have breakfast. I really didn't need to hear every single detail. This 'gift' means that he will want me to stay in bed till he gets up and actually makes breakfast. I am up around 7am, him around 11am. I have already disappointed him on this one since there is no way I can stay in bed till noon. This 'gift' means I will have to answer 100's of questions while he is cooking, or I will have to help him do something that he is struggling with because I am the one that HAS to have everything perfect. This 'gift' means I will have to tell him over the next few weeks how good it all was and how he is a great guy for doing it. He will mention it hundreds of times, over and over and over again - that is till he gets upset that I didn't appreciate him enough. And believe me, there is never enough. Yep, this 'gift' will turn sour in the end. I really don't want it. Title: Re: I am getting a Valentine's Day Gift that I don't want. Post by: DyingLove on February 13, 2013, 10:18:03 AM What happens if you are SICK or have a SORE THROAT? Can you take a rain check or maybe he'll just leave you alone?
Title: Re: I am getting a Valentine's Day Gift that I don't want. Post by: yeeter on February 13, 2013, 12:43:50 PM Sounds kinda like when the kids cook you breakfast in bed. Oh the amount of work that is created by that! (and its not always edible either)
You are going to have to decide how you want to deal with it. You can refuse it, or suggest and alternative (I think this would be my approach... . "aw... . thats a great idea and very nice, but what I REALLY want is to xyz" , or just put up with it. Of course redirecting to an alternative will be directly invalidating, so be prepared. To accept a gift you honor the giver. (meaning, its not about you - its about the giver) Personally, Im really hard to buy a gift for because I have everything I want - or what I want is so specific that nobody else has a chance of picking it. So for the gifts I get I smile and thank the person for the spirit in which they were given. And some boundary practicing coming up to limit the number of times you praise him for it (am sure this praise is highly validating for him!) |