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Title: What should I do when he is talking about suicide Post by: Cloudy Days on February 15, 2013, 10:58:30 AM My husband had a blow up last night after watching Legends of the Fall. If you are familiar with that movie it has some pretty violent scenes and it set him off. He had never seen it. After he calmed down he went to lay down and I went and layed next to him to sort of comfort him. I wasn't even sure if I was suppose to do that but I felt like he could use my presence. Anyways, he kept talking about suicide and started telling me some of the ways he has thought about doing it. I knew he wasn't going to do it right then and that it was just his mood talking. He was much better this morning, happy even. Anyways, the entire time he kept talking about his gloom and how he just wanted to die I found myself speechless and wasn't sure what to say. I didn't want to go deeper into why he felt the way he did, I knew it was because he pretty much Ruined our Valentines day. I wasn't expecting much of a day to be honest. You know how Borderlines can ruin a perfectly good day just because they over think it. So when my husband says, I just don't want to live anymore. What would be an approprate response?
The only response I could think of was, you shouldn't talk like that. And I know now that is a very invalidating statement that would just make him worse. I basically just kept my mouth shut as much as I could and held him. Sometimes he is expecting some kind of response so when I don't respond at all it makes it worse. Title: Re: What should I do when he is talking about suicide Post by: Foreverhopefull on February 15, 2013, 11:28:19 AM If he has a therapist, call him/her.
I know when my dBPDh starts talking about it, I call her and she gets in contact with him. Usually he has a talk with her on the phone and within hours or the next day, he has a session, with a possibility of having more sessions within the next few days. Title: Re: What should I do when he is talking about suicide Post by: Cloudy Days on February 15, 2013, 01:30:48 PM Well, I have contacted his therapist in the past and he wasn't happy about it. He did ask me to contact her last night and I did. She told me to encourage him when he is having trouble to contact her. I didn't tell her about the suicide thing though. I know the differnce between a pity party because he messed something up and an actual threat of suicide. Last night was a pity party, I never thought he was actually going to kill himself. I think he says the stuff because he knows it gets my attention. He's attempted suicide in the past and I had no idea until about a week later in fact all three times I didn't know until it was failed and he was comming clean about it. Interestingly enough, he didn't say anything to me before hand either, that's why I had no idea.
Title: Re: What should I do when he is talking about suicide Post by: Auspicious on February 15, 2013, 01:54:22 PM One thing you could try, I suppose, is emotional validation.
Him: I just don't want to live anymore. You: Wow, that has to be a painful feeling |