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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: Mountaineagle on February 15, 2013, 02:19:59 PM



Title: I don't want to feel like this
Post by: Mountaineagle on February 15, 2013, 02:19:59 PM
It's my birthday today and I am waiting for a message from her, email, text anything. She is back on facebook today, she has been away for a while. I feel really lonely now.  :'(


Title: Re: I don't want to feel like this
Post by: Sunshinegirl3275 on February 15, 2013, 02:29:40 PM
Happy Birthday Eagle!

Just remember she is not like you and I--- at least in the way her mind works. Don't waste another minute thinking about it because you deserve happiness today.

"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, its about learning how to dance in the rain." 


Title: Re: I don't want to feel like this
Post by: Mountaineagle on February 15, 2013, 02:35:30 PM
"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, its about learning how to dance in the rain." 

Thank you, that is beautiful and true. :) I have been waiting too long now


Title: Re: I don't want to feel like this
Post by: jpounce on February 15, 2013, 02:52:53 PM
Hey there mountain eagle,

Dont know how long she's been away. Mine did this leave without reason, then come back months later like nothing happened, a couple times before I got split black apparently for good a couple years ago. If yours just recently left, no birthday message doesn't mean she's forgotten it. Could just mean shes "punishing" you for whatever perceived wrong you comitted in her mind. Mine last left, and ignored any efforts I made to try to talk things out, including several phone calls, texts, 3 dozen long stem roses, and a 10 page letter, (and I hate to write). Then, after about 6months of silence, I get a text on my birthday saing "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"       Who does that? I answered her text, but she never did reply after that. Wish I could impart some wisdom to you to make it hurt a bit less, but i cant figure them out either. Stay strong and do your best to take care of you.

Jpounce


Title: Re: I don't want to feel like this
Post by: Mountaineagle on February 15, 2013, 06:45:01 PM
I was feeling really weak. I have gone NC and I have not communicated with her since 2 january. I left at the end of november so it is not that long ago. But emotions and reason does not always match. I got really triggered by her return to facebook. I have unfriended her a month ago, maybe I should block her? Will I be rid of her profile showing up on peoples likes then? This and being really emotional since it is my birthday had me on my knees there for a while. But I picked myself up and made a nice meal with my family and listened to my favorite music. It feels ok now. Thank you Sunshinegirl and jpounce for holding me up!   


Title: Re: I don't want to feel like this
Post by: ricky rick on February 15, 2013, 06:59:22 PM
Happy Birthday Eagle!

Dont feel too bad today. It will get better. If it makes you feel any better, My ex forgot my birthday when I was in her life. Made me want to puke.  Cant believe I stuck around after that. That should have been a big red flag! red-flag



Title: Re: I don't want to feel like this
Post by: Vatz on February 15, 2013, 07:19:06 PM
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DUDE!

Mine broke up with me the night before valentines day. During my last birthday, she spent her day hanging out with her guy friend and his buddies til 1 AM. I got a wicked fever the next day. I was so stressed that night, I KNEW I was going to be sick the next day. That about a month ago.


Title: Re: I don't want to feel like this
Post by: Mountaineagle on February 15, 2013, 09:08:58 PM
Thank you ricky rick and vatz!

If it makes you feel any better, My ex forgot my birthday when I was in her life.

I'm sorry you have to go through this heavy stuff, it does not make me feel better. What makes me feel better is that you care, and that you are here working things out to the better future with me. That even though we have to walk this road I have a band of brothers with me  :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DUDE!

Mine broke up with me the night before valentines day. During my last birthday, she spent her day hanging out with her guy friend and his buddies til 1 AM. I got a wicked fever the next day. I was so stressed that night, I KNEW I was going to be sick the next day. That about a month ago.



This valentines? How are you doing? That is so wrong! Its no wonder your body sounded the alarm!


Title: Re: I don't want to feel like this
Post by: atcrossroads on February 15, 2013, 09:25:18 PM
Happy Birthday!   :)  Celebrate you today and the choice you have made for a healthier and happier future.  I hope after the pangs today that you were able to enjoy your day.  Hang in there  

From a fellow Aquarian,

ACR


Title: Re: I don't want to feel like this
Post by: mssomebodynice on February 15, 2013, 10:18:08 PM
Happy birthday to you mountaineagle!  I want you to know that I care that it is your birthday.  I hope it was fun despite her not even wishing you to have a great day.  My BPD could not handle holidays of any kind ever.  Not even in the wonderful begining of our relationship.  They can't.  They cannot think of someone else first.  That isn't nice.  It isn't nice at all.  Well I am hoping that you continue to get stronger.  That is my wish for you on your birthday.  I hope you get stronger everyday and find the happiness you deserve.  Thats right, you deserve to be happy.  Please go find happy.  Blessings  :)


Title: Re: I don't want to feel like this
Post by: jaird on February 16, 2013, 12:13:20 AM
It's my birthday today and I am waiting for a message from her, email, text anything. She is back on facebook today, she has been away for a while. I feel really lonely now.  :'(

Man up, block her on FB, and try to stop thinking about what she is doing. At least this way YOU are in control of the FB situation.

If you continue to watch whatever she makes public or friends of friends, (hope you two are not still friends!), you will one day be hurt, whether intentionally or not. Probably intentionally.


Title: Re: I don't want to feel like this
Post by: Vatz on February 16, 2013, 01:01:57 AM
This valentines? How are you doing? That is so wrong! Its no wonder your body sounded the alarm!

Yes, it was this valentines. We fought because I didn't want to move in with her, at least not in the time she demanded. So she said "I'm not waiting for you." Fine. As for the birthday thing... .  actually that was the day I put a lot of emotional distance between me and her. Any time after that when she hung out with her friend, I was upset, but the feelings were so dulled down. As for how I'm doing; I got most of her things together. I plan on getting them back to her on Sunday. I'll call her mom and ask her to pick up the things. I want no contact. Had some tears going when I got the stuff together, but stopped myself. I ain't gonna let myself cry over this person. I'm okay so long as I don't look at it. It's over and there's no going back. Sentimentality is not going to help me.

But here's what I think about your situation. The way I see it, you should be happy that this person didn't contact you. It means you don't have to worry about them at all. Don't let it bother you. Believe me, you're probably better off not talking to them. Chances are they will bring you down somehow. I understand you're sad, but it's alright. You don't have to be. It's your birthday, and you don't really need to hear from a person with whom you associate pain and abuse. You're good, bro.

Also, you're welcome. I hope this next year brings you joy, peace and wonder. May you succeed in your endeavors and overcome any adversity you face. It's your birthday and you should be happy. It means you're still here, and so long as you breathe, there is happiness to attain. Wishing you all the best.


Title: Re: I don't want to feel like this
Post by: GreenMango on February 16, 2013, 02:59:11 AM
Happy Birthday Mountain Eagle!


The rest of your birthdays will be better than this one.  It get easier.


Title: Re: I don't want to feel like this
Post by: Mountaineagle on February 16, 2013, 09:39:00 AM
Man up, block her on FB, and try to stop thinking about what she is doing. At least this way YOU are in control of the FB situation.

I just maned up and blocked her!

The way I see it, you should be happy that this person didn't contact you. It means you don't have to worry about them at all. Don't let it bother you. Believe me, you're probably better off not talking to them. Chances are they will bring you down somehow. I understand you're sad, but it's alright. You don't have to be. It's your birthday, and you don't really need to hear from a person with whom you associate pain and abuse. You're good, bro.

Happy Birthday Mountain Eagle!


The rest of your birthdays will be better than this one.  It get easier.

Happy birthday to you mountaineagle!  I want you to know that I care that it is your birthday.  I hope it was fun despite her not even wishing you to have a great day.  My BPD could not handle holidays of any kind ever.  Not even in the wonderful begining of our relationship.  They can't.  They cannot think of someone else first.  That isn't nice.  It isn't nice at all.  Well I am hoping that you continue to get stronger.  That is my wish for you on your birthday.  I hope you get stronger everyday and find the happiness you deserve.  Thats right, you deserve to be happy.  Please go find happy.  Blessings  :)

Happy Birthday!   :)  Celebrate you today and the choice you have made for a healthier and happier future.  I hope after the pangs today that you were able to enjoy your day.  Hang in there 

From a fellow Aquarian,

ACR

Thank you everybody for the support! Means the world for me right now! The rest of the evening was very good and I had a nice birthday cooking Caribbean style jerk-fish and listening to Reggae, my favorite music :) Lesson learned: "Also this shall pass". People on this forum I am so grateful I could lean on you when my knees are shaking! Feel much better and stronger today :)


Title: Re: I don't want to feel like this
Post by: Changed4safety on February 16, 2013, 05:47:28 PM
Happy Belated Birthday Mountaineagle!  I love your name, and I loved what you posted today.