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Title: Not doing good today ... Post by: trouble11 on February 15, 2013, 05:03:39 PM I can't stand this up and down. Yesterday was a good day, I was able to stay on task, spent just a little time n the board, even went out last night, met some new people, and had a great time. Today is awful. I feel like I took 3 steps forward and 30 steps back. I've been on the board all day and I just can't let go of whatever this is. I can't even describe what it is other than a sick painful feeling inside. I was proud of myself yesterday, today I feel like life has stopped again and I'm paralyzed. When does it get better and stay better? :'(
Title: Re: Not doing good today ... Post by: trevjim on February 15, 2013, 05:16:17 PM I know what you mean, I have days where I feel I have turned a corner and I'm doing great, and then the next I'm close to tears about her. Its crazy!
Title: Re: Not doing good today ... Post by: seeking balance on February 15, 2013, 05:17:36 PM I can't stand this up and down. Yesterday was a good day, I was able to stay on task, spent just a little time n the board, even went out last night, met some new people, and had a great time. Today is awful. I feel like I took 3 steps forward and 30 steps back. I've been on the board all day and I just can't let go of whatever this is. I can't even describe what it is other than a sick painful feeling inside. I was proud of myself yesterday, today I feel like life has stopped again and I'm paralyzed. When does it get better and stay better? :'( You are right where you are supposed to be - try to be gentle with yourself and trust that it will get better. This quote seems appropriate right now for you - from Cross Roads. "The hurt is real and true... . transformation without work and pain, without suffering, without a sense of loss is just an illusion of true change." You are changing Trouble11 - this is a good thing. Peace, SB Title: Re: Not doing good today ... Post by: Changed4safety on February 15, 2013, 05:44:47 PM *gentle hugs* I am sorry it is a rough day for you. Most of us are well familiar with the up and downs of this. It is really more like a "death," the death of the relationship, of hope, than of a normal breakup. When this happens to me I remember that I DID have a good day, that I was CAPABLE of having a good day, and I will again.
Title: Re: Not doing good today ... Post by: trouble11 on February 15, 2013, 06:06:28 PM Thank you SB and C4S, So my adult (28yo) son is going to move in next week and live with me for awhile. On one hand I think it will help as I will be forced to get up and live like a normal person, as I won't let him see me like this. ie In my robe till noon on a BPD board and crying. OTH ... . I don't want not dealing with it to bite me later.
Title: Re: Not doing good today ... Post by: Vatz on February 15, 2013, 07:14:46 PM Hey, it's going to hurt for a while. But you have to pull through it. Remember that you it's done and you can't look back.
It's going to get better, and you'll get through this. You have to. |