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Title: Learning From Devestation Post by: nothinleft on February 16, 2013, 10:10:11 AM I am sure everyone here is devestated by by their SO's irrationality and anger that has turned life completely up side down. For most that has been their main focus and it's been extremely debilitating. Intense questioning, reading, studying, developing coping mechanisms, etc. eventually become a tiresome circular endeavor, although much inner strength and wisdom can be gained during that necessarry journey if we are to survive in a healthy manner. Eventually though, I have found it very beneficial to show more interest in what others say, by checking their histories, reading their posts and noting the similarities and differences in our situations, and how we are reacting and coping. Yes it is very beneficial to vent and have the attention of others, but I have also discovered, by GIVING that attention I so desire to others and thinking about how to address their particular concerns provides unique benefits for a more balanced outlook. We are all at different stages of dealing with PD. When I listen to a "newbie", so bewildered and questioning or I hear the advice of someone much more adept than I-where else could I get that needed input. Thats why I started to post again, because I can't do this alone... . nothinleft
Title: Re: Learning From Devestation Post by: briefcase on February 18, 2013, 01:41:20 PM Healing and gaining strength is a process that takes a lot of time and practice. And yes, we're all in different places in that process. I'm glad to see you posting!
Title: Re: Learning From Devestation Post by: laelle on February 18, 2013, 01:52:29 PM The most helpful things for me in dealing with my BPD relationship
Love myself... . To be truly healthy you have to form and hold your own value. No one else can do that for you, but this website has everything you need to do it. Love my BPD partner for exactly who he is and adjust my life that I chose to share with him on our own unique playing field. Im not perfect either. Detach with love. Staying hooked when your emotionally drained will ALWAYS make things worse. Dont Jade, you will end up bitter and hurt. |