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Title: She came back once before so... Post by: Scott44 on February 18, 2013, 02:51:02 PM My DBPD ex-wife left me once before. It was several years ago, and only for six weeks. She moved in with a single dad and his 2 autistic daughters. Then she caught him emailing a friend about how he had this woman who idolized him and was a real sucker. When she confronted him with this info., he threatened her life for violating his privacy. I took her back. Perhaps I shouldn't have, because I'm living the pain all over again. But I'm also thinking that she came back before so maybe she will again.
Title: Re: She came back once before so... Post by: trouble11 on February 18, 2013, 03:00:34 PM Then she caught him emailing a friend about how he had this woman who idolized him and was a real sucker. When she confronted him with this info., he threatened her life for violating his privacy. Maybe I've become jaded and cynical, but does this sound right to you? Maybe it is, but it rings of something made up by a BPD mind. I know that doesn't help what your going through at the moment, but REALLY looking at some of the things mine said, made the break up SLIGHTLY easier for me. Just saying ... . Title: Re: She came back once before so... Post by: Scott44 on February 18, 2013, 03:05:39 PM You may be right. She certainly does make up things or at least exaggerates them wildly.
Title: Re: She came back once before so... Post by: whatarideout on February 19, 2013, 03:12:05 AM But I'm also thinking that she came back before so maybe she will again. you know why people "come back" again? because we allow them to. you allow her back in your life because the pain of being with her, is easier than the pain of being without her. the problem is, when we choose the lesser pain and play it "safe", we give our power away to someone else. when choosing which pain to suffer from, try picking the one that leads to you having possession of your power. Title: Re: She came back once before so... Post by: Clearmind on February 19, 2013, 03:38:43 AM Scott, I agree you need to hold power here and not her. This is how we move from victim to thriver.
If you allow it then what? If you don't allow then what? Victim: Alone Survivor: Seeking help Thriver: Oneness Victim: Uses outer world to hide from self Survivor: Stays with emotional pain Thriver: Understands that emotional pain will pass & brings new insights From Victim to Survivor to Thriver (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/images/victim_survivor_1.jpg) Title: Re: She came back once before so... Post by: almost789 on February 19, 2013, 06:00:30 AM Thats true, whatarideout. I remember speaking those exact words to my BPD! It hurts more to leave than to stay. However, if one can manage to stay disconnected and trully detach, this statement becomes false. For me, it now hurts more to stay than to leave.
Title: Re: She came back once before so... Post by: Scott44 on February 19, 2013, 10:05:49 AM Thanks everyone. I hope someday I will feel that way, that it hurts more to stay than to leave. Right now, being without her hurts more than I ever thought possible.
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