BPDFamily.com

Alot of threads and activity.  Can everyone give a quick update (1-2 lines) please?

Forestaken (me): Made a huge one time financial settlement offer. No future alimony, no joiners on pension. [Waiting for a response from her]

ForeverDad:

2002 Child born, mother's behavior worse, thought maybe PostPartum Depression

2003 Nursing stopped, behavior improved slightly but reverted 2 months later

2004 Friends & family driven away by spouse's suspicions and accusations

2005 Separated

2006 I filed but got alternate weekends & stbx begins years of false allegations

2007 stbx raged at pediatrician's staff, doctor withdrew services

2008 Final Decree with Shared Parenting and equal time

2009 I filed Change in Circumstance seeking custody

2011 I got custody but her alimony ended and I started paying child support

2012 I filed for majority time

2013 ... .  still pending

Kormilda

Aug 2008 Separated from BPD/Nxh

Sep 2009 BPD/Nxh broke into house, destroyed house & contents worth A$79,000

Sep 2009 AVO in place for kids and me

Jan 2010  Property settled, final custody orders for DD4 and DS1 - sole parental responsibility to me,

             BPD/N supervised visits, 4 hours fortnightly - consent orders

Jul 2010   Divorce was granted

Oct 2010  Visits go to unsupervised, 4 hours per fortnight after successful family report for BPD/Nxh - consent orders

Sep 2011 BPD/Nxh applies for 50/50 custody

Feb 2012 court date adjourned till May 2013, expert witness out of country

Apr 2012  BPD/Nxh charged with stalking and physical violence against xGF

Dec 2012 Updated forensic psychologist report for BPD/Nxh and me

Feb 2013  Updated family report due end of month

May 2013 Court case for custody resumes

Since childrens trial last summer, ongoing supervised contact. Back in court last week and further period of supervised ordered, leading to unsupervised in June. Ex furious, unable to see why any supervised needed. Equivalent of CE leaving, thankfully as she was not good at job, awaiting another officer to be appointed. Financial trial was due in jan but postponed as BPD (w/NPD traits) ex still not completed disclosure... .  he has till this Friday or we go back to court to have prison term attached. From what little he has disclosed, L has had to inform relevant authorities that he was money laundering whole time we were married! Unbelievable.

Going back to work next week after 3month off with stress.

... .  meanwhile, looking forward to the spring :)

Without being too harsh - a prison term would certainly give you a period of peace. Can it be done?

Quite! Will find out this week if he filed everything by closing on Friday... .  I'm doubtful as it just adds evidence to the money laundering. He's always been passive aggressive, and now more than ever, as stalling is the only tactic he's got, he certainly hasn't got a reasonable case/argument, but too much pride to let it go... .  

The joke is the money laundering can't be mentioned at trial as its considered tipping off! He's

Bought property in marriage, and transferee it to relatives during proceedings, one of which the valuation has just come back as structurally unsound, and he never had building insurance... .  

Sept 2012- BF and I had a baby, his BPDex was not pleased.  She started a new relationship the following week.

Dec 2012- Filed to find adequate cause to make a Modification of Parenting plan.

Jan 2013- Went to court, Adequate cause was found in our favor. Judge would not make changes on the spot, odered us into Mediation.

Jan 2013- BPDex announces she is expecting a baby with new boyfriend, the next week she announces they are getting married.

Feb 2013- Mediation happened and failed. All BPDex would discuss was all of the Domestic Violence counseling she was going to and refused to mediate even though judge ordered it.  Mediator moved it on to a parenting evaluation which won't likely happen until this Summer.

Feb 2013- The day after Mediation ended, BPDex has announced that all communication with her must be via email, all texts are harassment and that child will not perform in any activities that do not fall on our night.

We filed a motion for Temp orders to be issued by judge since she refused mediation.

Awaiting court at the end of March.  When I had to serve her this weekend, she tried to run.  I managed to catch up and give her the papers.  She did not seem pleased.  I'm sure we will be getting a response any day now.

Feb, 2011- left BPDH after nearly 20 years of verbal, mental, and emotional abuse.

May, 2011- filed for divorce (short version- he dragged it out for no good reason)

June, 2012- Divorce granted, XH excused from appearing at trial due to unstable behavior.

                Final orders, agreed to beforehand, include selling house and splitting profit.

Now- he just offered me a pitiful amount of money to "buy out" my interest in the house, through the poor realtor who is trying to sell it (he's been blocking her efforts, for the most part).  I countered with a slightly higher $ amount and just learned last night, again via realtor, that "the offer is not open to negotiation.  Take it or don't."

Not taking it = him living there, paying the bills (fortunately!), and keeping the house up for sale, quite possibly forever.  The sale price gets bumped down every 6 months and he is NOT cooperative with the realtor.  Also, when she has shown it, he has kept it so dark and cluttered that NOBODY wants to live there.

Taking it = being finished with him once and for all.  (And before I marry my sweet fiance in May.)

I told the realtor to tell him I will take the deal, if it is wrapped up in 60 days.  Awaiting her call.

Filed Oct 2012. She claims full custody later in Oct. My parenting time goes to EOW and Wed. She claimed I said I wouldn't pay CS(Actually told her she doesn't have full custody because we haven't had a hearing and she started with "I have full custody".It was twisted of course) Went to hearing on contempt charges.Her L dropped charges in the courtroom.

Had her give a deposition in Jan 2013.

March 2013: She refuses to pay half of kids therapy via email.(I put them in counseling)My L is sending her L a letter regarding this.If ignored,contempt charges will follow.

Still trying to set up deposition with S9's medical nutritionist.STBX's L is stalling on this.

LivednLearned:

2000: Married after super fast courtship. Bad idea.

2001: S11 is born

2002-2006: Holy sh!t crazy stuff

2007-2009: Therapy, hope, hand-wringing.

2009: Meet with lawyer. Develop exit strategy.

2010: Exit.

2011: Mediation, temporary custody order, deposition. Primary custody, joint legal.

2012: January: Divorce finalized.

2012: June: Crazy manic overnight while S11 is with N/BPDx. End of overnights.

2012: August: Parent coordinator assigned

2013: February: Parent coordinator calls for a judicial conference to discuss N/BPDx's threats to her

2013: March: LnL files for sole legal custody.