BPDFamily.com

STBBPDEX and his L are rushing this thing and I have a list of names to pick through.

They are insisting on an old guy, almost 70.

ready to retire.

BPD dad is big alienator and He in with the good old boys network.

Id rather have a woman , even for D10 interview.

How do I research these guys.?

there must be a list?

Ph.D. psychologist (not a lawyer).

Don't hesitate to say, "I'm not comfortable with Dr. X." - you don't have to add "because he's a man!".

Make 100% sure that there will be objective psych evals, like the MMPI-2.  That's the only way to be sure someone with BPD will be diagnosed.

And be willing to have psych evals for both parents.  They'll both come up imperfect - mine did! - but that's OK - you can take any issues in stride and follow the recommendations, and it will be a plus for you.

Many custody evaluators refuse to make a diagnosis.  Mine said from the very start, "I'm not here to disgnose anyone, I just going to evaluate the family and family members and make a recommendation to the court."  He did a good eval, it was excellent, but the court paid so little attention to it during the rest of the divorce process that I felt pressured to settle, fortunately on somewhat decent terms.

His age or gender aren't the prime factors.  (A woman could give an equally good or equally bad report.)  Does he have a reputation for solid evaluations?  Are his reports respected?  Are there other evaluators available?  What are their reputations for doing solid work?  Why didn't the other lawyer propose a pool of experts so then a final selection could be made?

If a CE said that to me, I would not accept him.  How in the world can he make a sound recommendation, without knowing as much as he can about the mental health of both parents?

Parents with an untreated mental illness put the kids at much higher risk, in many ways, short-term and long-term;  trying to figure out what's best for the kids, without diagnosing both parents, is like driving with your eyes closed.

I found some pretty revealing information just by googlingnames.  I don't think it is unintentional, CEs do not do a lot of advertising. 

When I said that my CE wouldn't make a diagnosis for either parent, it's a reflection of my domestic court and every agency around it that seems not to want to make either parent look bad.  They just stick with behaviors, a common refrain here on the boards too.  Yes, I know that without a diagnosis, it's harder to get therapy ordered, but that's the way it is in my area.  (In all these years, I don't think ex has ever gotten therapy, but who am I to need to know, right?)  Other than that one issue, my CE, a child psychologist, wrote an accurate and concise report in a reasonable amount of time at a fair price.  I don't recall all the written tests I took, but I do believe one of them was the MMPI-2.

To summarize his report in a couple sentences... .    Mother can't share 'her' child, but father can.  Mother should lose temp custody immediately (didn't happen) and if Shared parenting is tried but fails then father should get custody.

Another comment he made in his report was that I was overly concerned with countering every one of her numerous allegations.  Hey, my life and freedom was on the line, if any of the serious ones had ever been believed, I could have been left singing (jailbird) in orange jumpsuits for years.