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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: Mistified247 on February 20, 2013, 04:50:10 AM



Title: Anyone had a similar experience?
Post by: Mistified247 on February 20, 2013, 04:50:10 AM
Hi all,

So my exBPD keeps going onto my profile on an online career social portal, which allows you to see who has been looking at your profile. (She knows full well that it does this). Has anyone had anything similar where your exBPD is trying to get your attention indirectly? What experiences have you had? It's like she is hinting for me to contact her, without her actually contacting me directly... .  I've been NC for months, except brief 'friendly' SMS exchanges asking how each other is doing. I've not heard anything from her in over a month.

Thanks for your continued support.


Title: Re: Anyone had a similar experience?
Post by: GustheDog on February 20, 2013, 04:58:31 AM
Yes.  Blocked on FB then unblocked w/ "us" as her profile pic.  Then blocked again.  Then unblocked again.  Also, blocked calls with hang-ups.  No way to prove those are from her, but, well, they are.

It's all stupid and ridiculous and childish and sick - which, I guess, makes sense because they are, after all, mentally ill.

Ignore it.  If my ex has something to say to me she knows how to reach me like the other adults in my life.  If not, great.


Title: Re: Anyone had a similar experience?
Post by: Mistified247 on February 20, 2013, 09:20:25 AM
Thanks Gus, that's what I thought. It's just tough to block it out really. However first T session tomorrow, so hoping to be on the road back to my full self again.


Title: Re: Anyone had a similar experience?
Post by: ThrownAway on February 20, 2013, 09:35:49 AM
Yesterday my ex visited my online dating profile.  This is the first time she's done this since the first couple days of the breakup 3.5 months ago.  She also knows I will see this and we have not spoken once.  In my case she may just be checking to see if I'm still single, don't know why your ex would check your career profile.  Stay strong, I'm feeling weak over this and maybe that's why they do it.


Title: Re: Anyone had a similar experience?
Post by: Alvino on February 20, 2013, 09:43:53 AM
So my exBPD keeps going onto my profile on an online career social portal, which allows you to see who has been looking at your profile. (She knows full well that it does this). Has anyone had anything similar where your exBPD is trying to get your attention indirectly? What experiences have you had? It's like she is hinting for me to contact her, without her actually contacting me directly... .  

Yep. Her behavior may have several goals:

1. It ensures she's on your mind, wondering why she's on your profile.

2. She wants you to look at her profile.

3. She hopes you will contact her to ask what's up. 

She's probably just pulling your strings to see if you respond... .  that is: If she still has the power to make you respond. If she contacts you, then she makes it obvious that she needs your attention. If she can coax you into contacting her, she gets to play the passive victim.

I had similar attempts to coax me into contacting my exBPD gf. When I didn't respond, they got more and more silly. I still didn't respond. They stopped. Now I have peace. 

I'd ignore it and find a way to block her. You don't need that drama.