BPDFamily.com

What are some other distortions that your/our pwBPD created to emotion health

Other than yelling ( and in my case ) she would push my buttons till

I couldn't take it then be real calm and tell me how she was in control but goad me.

but some other distortions is when I played my guitar she would tell me how it wasn't

so pretty and then play piano which wasn't so pretty and not really jam material.

not give me grocery receipts even when she just got back and just won't becuase

it's over budget and over available balance.

not give the kids bday presents because it is your fault/ return gifts because they are

"not appropriate".

If She would answer the phone she would tell people whatever her fear was that

I was doing instead of answering the phone. I got more but I'm asking.

What kind of damage control have you been able to do because my brothers who ( live far away )

seem to hate me i think because I never saw the painful situations they went through over 20

years of my marriage and don't grasp what I went through.

Not2, the list just goes on and on... .  

In general I think they'll say anything that can give them either a sense of control or temporary release. And in my experience everything can and will be used as a weapon.

That's what the distortions become, weapons.

But what might be more useful than go over each incredible outrageous abuse of our trust, might be looking for the tools to make these weapons lose their power.

To me reading this board, books, articles and learning how to return from Oz disarmed my pwBPD for a great deal. What my BPD said hurt me because I let hurt me. Instead of distortions, I took them as true on some level. One of the most important tools for the non is regain their reality by testing our version of truth. We can do that by trying to be objective without taking things personal, checking with friends, posting on this board etc.

Another analogy is the Matrix movie. Because we take personal what the BPD says, it affects us, breaks us down till we're just a shell they feed on. They can keep us immobile because on some level we believe the insults and distortion, we take them for the real world. But through this board we can get these moments of awareness which shows us the illusions. This makes us being able to dodge these bullets as in the Matrix or find our way back from Oz.