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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting => Topic started by: rogerroger on February 22, 2013, 01:29:47 PM



Title: How proactive should I be with the GAL?
Post by: rogerroger on February 22, 2013, 01:29:47 PM
Both x2b and I have had 1 meeting with the GAL. I did get a chance to tell her about x2b's substance abuse and mental health histories. However, I was unable to persuade the kids to go play in another room so we could talk candidly. The kids were quite determined to stay near me. So I did my best to communicate as much as I could by using terms like "the female parent" to refer to x2b, etc.

I wasn't really able to address my concerns about x2b's history of verbal and emotional abuse of the kids, or her physical abuse of me. I have been writing some of these concerns down and have thought of sending her an email, but I don't want her to think I'm just trying to smear x2b.

Am I overthinking things?


Title: Re: How proactive should I be with the GAL?
Post by: ForeverDad on February 22, 2013, 07:07:37 PM
Next time you have a meeting with the GAL, can you ask his/her assistance to have the children wait in another room?  Maybe you acan tell them they can knock and peek in periodically?  Can you bring toys or games that will keep them occupied while you speak privately?  Or maybe next time you can bring a trusted friend or family member to wait with them while you're in conference with GAL?  Or you could prepare note to let the GAL read, though be very careful what you put in writing, writing the wrong things or the right things in wrong ways could come back to haunt you.

I recall my Custody Evaluator specifically noted that he observed the behaviors of both parents and children while in his office.  Probably my GAL did the same as well.