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Did you "trust" your PxBPD with normal things?

Did your PwBPD trust you with normal things?

Way back when people still fixed car stereos I did and when I was dating my BPD I noticed and it hurt that she took it to the shop did not give it to me to repair. Like many things from then on it seemed that trusting me was another opportunity to make me feel inadequate.

when you marry you expect certain things from a partner so you delegate your trust to the other person to do other jobs. My worst is I delegated the responsibility of handling the thank you notes. Yea I didn't know... .  but she was a stay at home mom.

20 years later my family says "don't blame her you just didn't care about us why are you trying to reconnect with us now?" yet they are the ones that convinced me to give up marriage counseling to seek my own Psychotherapy ( where I learned of her BPD and rxed medication for MY depression at all this ).

In my experience my EX, at least early on, felt if I did something for her then she "owed" me. She didn't like feeling indebted so she wouldn't want me to do anything for her. Later this all changed, after she got pregnant it was 100% dependence on me. No matter what it was, I was on the hook for it. In the end I set boundaries, this ultimately ended the relationship.

My ex also expected me to do a lot of things and would then put me down if I didn't do them the way that she wanted, even if they were technically done correctly.  She also wanted me to be a more hands-on guy in regards to fixing things, which I wanted as well, but if my first attempt at fixing something in my life didn't go well, then she would also immediately put me down.  However, if she ever did something like try to recreate a dish for the first time and it didn't turn out anything like how it should, she expected nothing but praise.