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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting => Topic started by: Maryiscontrary on February 27, 2013, 02:49:00 PM



Title: Tomorrow is my divorce. I will have go nuclear
Post by: Maryiscontrary on February 27, 2013, 02:49:00 PM
I have the best attorney in the area. I gave him chance after chance. I have caught him in a big, big whopper---he claims he only owns 2% of our company---when years of tax records say otherwise.

I beleive he used me to get a green card, because he "snapped" about 3 weeks after 4 years of bureaucratic agony---and he made live intolerable to live with. Then he took ALL the assets, bought a BMW, and claims he is showing a 10K loss.

This is after he dodged service for 4 months, and the judge had to order service to his brother, who he went promptly into business with--and is failing.

Fraud.

I am heartbroken.

What an idiot btch.



Title: Re: Tomorrow is my divorce. I will have go nuclear
Post by: Rose Tiger on February 27, 2013, 03:19:34 PM
The judge may award you every request, but then the question will be, how to get him to comply?  Courts are unpredictable when it comes to family law, my own experience is it only works when all the players take it seriously.

So sorry you are heart broken.   :'(  Try to imagine the future, down the road where you will go days at a time without thinking of him.  Right now it is big, huge in your thoughts, that will change and you will have a whole new life.  Tomorrow sounds like the a big step towards that.


Title: Re: Tomorrow is my divorce. I will have go nuclear
Post by: LuckyEscapee on February 27, 2013, 03:20:03 PM
You only have to take care of you now :)

Good luck!


Title: Re: Tomorrow is my divorce. I will have go nuclear
Post by: almost789 on February 27, 2013, 03:23:36 PM
Good Luck! Maryiscontrary. I'm glad you have a great attorney. :)


Title: Re: Tomorrow is my divorce. I will have go nuclear
Post by: Maryiscontrary on February 27, 2013, 03:32:26 PM
If you have a green card, you must comply, or it is grounds for revocation.

Thanks guys.


Title: Re: Tomorrow is my divorce. I will have go nuclear
Post by: Maryiscontrary on February 27, 2013, 03:34:07 PM
Actually, it is technically grounds for marriage annulment, if it is shown he went in with fraudulent intentions, which the evidence looks damning


Title: Re: Tomorrow is my divorce. I will have go nuclear
Post by: ForeverDad on February 28, 2013, 07:21:40 AM
The judge may award you every request, but then the question will be, how to get him to comply?  Courts are unpredictable when it comes to family law, my own experience is it only works when all the players take it seriously.

Do try to get the judge to list consequences and enforcement in any orders.  It's no fun - and expensive - having an order then having to go right back to court to seek enforcement when ex promptly fails to comply.  Seeing the evasion ex did from the start, the judge may be willing to order up front not just what you are awarded but also clear direction as to what happens next if/when ex ignores or obstructs or in some other way doesn't comply.  Many members here have been burned by getting orders but then having to go right back to court, often over and over, to find out what the court is willing to do next.  Court ought to be the hero for targets and victims but at best it's a very reluctant hero.


Title: Re: Tomorrow is my divorce. I will have go nuclear
Post by: Maryiscontrary on March 01, 2013, 12:25:03 PM
Oh yes, Forever, I have those bases completely covered. I got a great settlement!

He has to pay everything in 3 weeks, or he will be in contempt of court and have to come back 1400 miles to an angry judge. Also, these stunts jeopardize his green card, and this is a very sensitive issue.

He is very, very ill. His attorney came out of the conference room with him, shaking his head, and muttering. "This guy is crazy."

He later disrupted court and his attorney had to shut him up.

Oh, well, not my problem.


Title: Re: Tomorrow is my divorce. I will have go nuclear
Post by: ForeverDad on March 01, 2013, 12:34:02 PM
Oh, well, not my problem.

That's a very good perspective.  You can't fix him, for four plus years you tried and it only got worse once he got what he wanted, the risks for further involvement with him are just too great.  He's an Adult, so let him stand on his own two feet and don't shelter him from his deserved consequences.  Being nice won't help him - nor you.  Being nice 'may' possibly reduce some of the conflict but probably not and surely not for long.  While you don't want to trigger further overreactions from him, you also have to be careful not to slip back into appeaser mode.


Title: Re: Tomorrow is my divorce. I will have go nuclear
Post by: Maryiscontrary on March 01, 2013, 04:49:46 PM
Well, I have been NC for 6 months, and I didn't speak to him at all at the hearing, so there are no issues with appeasing, etc. Just a good old fashioned cut off. I saw the writing on the wall a while back, and after trying to get him help nonstop for 5 months, I just cut it off and told him to stick it.

Not my problem.

Plus, I am in a Texas oil patch, where there are lots of strapping men falling over themselves for the few available women here... .  lots and lots of guys appreciate an educated, attractive woman, who has all of her teeth and can carry a conversation. A lot of them multimillionaires (however, lots of PDs in that category, too---and I drop them like hot cakes). So, I am not worried. Screw that idiot. Dumbass to the zillionth degree.


Title: Re: Tomorrow is my divorce. I will have go nuclear
Post by: pallavirajsinghani on March 01, 2013, 06:28:29 PM
Man Oh! Man.

It's raining men, Hellelujah!

You are making this married woman's mouth water.  ;-)

Plus, I am in a Texas oil patch, where there are lots of strapping men falling over themselves for the few available women here... .  lots and lots of guys appreciate an educated, attractive woman, who has all of her teeth and can carry a conversation. A lot of them multimillionaires (however, lots of PDs in that category, too---and I drop them like hot cakes). So, I am not worried. Screw that idiot. Dumbass to the zillionth degree.