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My pwBPD gf has been giving me silent treatment for a week . She says she  has to move on but is not sure.  What puzzles me is that she has not removed our favorite picture from her facebook cover page.(main picture)

Can some one explain why she would like to keep our facebbok picture if she doesnot want to talk?

To confuse you and keep you hanging by a thread, which is working.

Also, because she is likewise confused and hanging by a thread.

And, finally, because it may be less about a lack of desire to talk and rather more that she cannot talk to you.  She doesn't know why she does the things she does, and she is incapable of communicating/expressing herself emotionally.

Gusthedog,

it is she who is giving silent treatment. She can call me if she wants to talk.

I dont mind. But, it confuses me that on one hand she doesnot want  contact

but on the other hand she keeps our picture on her facebook cover.

By the way, she has been dysregulated for last 7 days and is in bad shape

including increased dissociation episodes. I want to support her but she just got shut off.

I know!  Haha.  Look, my ex did the exact same thing - she's been giving me the silent treatment for over 5 months.  But, a few months ago, she's got our photo on FB.  Then, a little while later, I was blocked again, then unblocked and the photo's up again.  Now I'm blocked again.

Note that we were NC throughout this entire period of time, so she wasn't reacting to anything I was doing - I wasn't doing anything.



I know you want to help, but, frankly, you're the cause (or a major contributor) to the dysregulation.  You're a trigger.  If you're allergic to peanuts there's no way that contact with peanuts is going to fix your allergy.

So, you need to detach, which is made more difficult by her immature antics on FB.  Just stay away.  Don't look.  Not only does it make it harder for you, it's a bit of supply for her.

i agree with gusthedog,

after i broke up with her, my ex changed her facebook profile pic and her match.com pic to ones that i took.

all it really is, is the same manipulation that she conducted while we were together.  she's actively trying to date, and she's only putting those pics up to try to get inside my head. it isnt a cry for help or anything hopeful like we would want, all it is, is a master manipulator weaving a web. my ex has been lying and manipulating all her life, obviously she knows what she's doing.

she does what she wants, when she wants. you can blame it on the BPD and not on her and her motives, but thats just not the case. she knows exactly what she's doing when she's going out on dates, just like she knows what she's doing when she's lonely or just got dumped and tries to call me cause she needs me to console her... .  

her needs are all that matters