BPDFamily.com

Hey folks,

We finally had dd15 moved to a new RTF due to all the issues with the old one.  I can't believe how much worse she is since she first entered rtf.  At the old rtf she was so disrespectful and rude to the staff everytime I would visit.  I would say something to her about it and that would end the visit with "you're such a BI**H*! 

So we changed rtfs on Thursday.  I thought the intake procedure was very organized.  The admission person met with us and we filled out paperwork and then she took us to one of the team leader's offices and we'd meet with them and they'd explain their role and then the admission person would show up and take us to the next person.  It took about 3 hours to meet with everyone.  Then we were able to walk around the campus with dd and went out to meet the horses.  dd lit up and started petting and hugging the horses.  We took her back to her house and started on our 3 hour drive back home.

I called at 8pm and was informed by dd that she planned on giving her 72 hour notice to leave.  Apparently she CAN do that.  Getting a ride home is a whole other matter.  Her therapist told us we didn't have to pick her up and she would be there until she could secure a way home haha  But we may end  up having to court mandate her there.

What started it she was told there is a 6 level system at this rtf.  The first 3 levels are consequence levels for being rude, not participating in group, not going to school etc (They actually PUNISH people mom!   It's not even about keeping you safe... .  just punishing! (mom cheers!))  At her old rtf they did put her on room restriction for those things, but really what kind of consequence is it when she can lay in her bed and read all day?  The last 3 levels are for safety and to keep them from self injury.

Anyway, so far I have a really good feeling about this place (aside from the 72 hour thing.  What moron would tell her she didn't have to stay if she didn't want to?). 

Hello crazedncrazymom,

Good to see you here.  Thanks for letting us know the changes in your d's care situation.


How long was your d at this rtf?  Is her rtf funded through an IEP? 


Glad to know that you are feeling hopeful about this new place.  Can you tell us the reasons you chose this facility and something about their treatment program?


Really?  During the intake process did the rtf receive legal authority over her?  I could conceivably understand why staff would say "sure, you could leave if you chose to" and then followed up with "we will call the authorities to find you and bring you back, the choice is yours".  Did the rtf provide you with an explanation of how they handle new students regarding security?  Like "all new students remain in arms reach of staff for the first 72 hours" or "students can earn the highest privilege (sneakers) when they are ready to begin to transition home"... .  anything like that?


That is not productive is it!  


Can you get clarity on what the legalities are regarding her placement?   One of the reasons there are so many RTc's in the state of Utah is their "family friendly" laws. 

We look forward to hearing back from you.

lbj

Hey LBJ,

Thanks for taking the time to answer.   

I chose this program because I spoke to one of dd's old case managers and she and her team compiled a list of the best (highest success rates) of the rtfs in this area.  They use dbt.  They have mandatory participation in their treatment groups and they have a lot of really good therapy programs including horse and pet therapy 5 days a week and their art program is really really cool.  I think dd will come away from that with some new coping skills. 

At entrance they aren't put on any levels or precautions unless she shows she needs them.  DD had a lot of self injurious behavior towards the end of her stay at the last rtf so she isn't allowed anything even remotely dangerous (shoestrings, underwire bra, plastic lids have been taken off her cosmetics so she can't break them and use them the shards to cut with.  This is by my request.  She will earn those things back as she shows stability and a desire to start doing the work to come home.  I'm honestly not sure what the other kids are or are not allowed to have but I had a long talk with the supervisor yesterday and explained dds history regarding safety and that her roommates shouldn't have anything in their room that she can use to injure herself.

DD is currently on 1-1 with staff because she and her new bestie are claiming to have found some glass and swallowed it in order to be taken to the hospital so that they could make a big escape from the hospital.  Staff found out about the plan and they sent 2 staff members so that they both could be watched at all times.  They were evaluated and released from the er.  They both refused to go with rtf staff.  There was a big commotion and the police were called to help "convince" them to go back to rtf.

Found out more about the 72 hour thing... .  She is allowed to give 72 hour notice of her intent to leave the program.  The facility will contact us to see if we are in agreement.  Since we are not there would be a hearing.  If she wins the hearing she will be allowed to come home.  If she loses the hearing she will be given a chance to withdraw her request to leave.  If she doesn't then she will be court mandated to stay at rtf until a dr. says she is ready to leave.

She is now making abuse allegations and said that the staff is telling her that they are trying to make a "no contact" so we would not be allowed to talk to or visit her and she said some things about going to foster care.  I'll be speaking with her therapist about that, but I have a feeling it's just one of those things she is telling me to freak me out enough to bring her home.   

Dang this is a crazy life.  I have to admit tho... that "no contact" thing is sounding better and better to me all the time.

Oh just to answer the questions about the old rtf.  She entered the rtf mid-august and it is funded through insurance.

Thanks for answering back crazed,

Lots of drama and attention seeking behaviors going on here!

A hearing... .  that is interesting.  Who are the authority figures at this hearing?  Peers I hope.

Still don't quite understand having a "court mandate" to keep her there.  What are the laws in your state that the court would have to make a ruling on where you have her placed or whether or not she stays there?

The "no contact" initially was my d's rtc standard.  The first 21 days!  Kids were not allowed to be abusive to their parents at any time.

crazedncrazymom,


Glad that you have a good feeling about this rtf.   I worked in a psyciatric hospital years ago.  We had children, adolescents, adults, and geris.  We had acute and residential treatment.  And, No patient was allowed to have shoestrings, any drawstrings in pants, beltts, etc.  Also,no underwire bras for females.  They had option of us cutting the wires out, or have another wirelss bra brought in.  I thought that was the norm for all psych facilities.

Sounds like your dd is in a decent place. :)

At my daughter's RTC, these things were allowed.

At both rtc's dd has been involved with they are typically allowed shoestrings, underwire bras, etc.  DD has shown herself to be very unsafe and will do pretty much anything to get her way, so I do not allow her to have those things at the facility. 

LBJ, our mental health laws here in PA are very convoluted.  Once a child is 14 years old they are "in charge" of their mental health.  She can sign herself into a psych hospital or treatment program and I don't have any say.  If I want to sign her into a treatment program and she is refusing to go, I have to have a psychiatrist agree she needs treatment and then petition for a hearing.  DD will remain where she is and a judge will come to the facility.  The hearing must take place within 72 hours of dd's refusal to be admitted (or signing a paper saying she wants to be released from treatment).  If the judge finds in her favor she is free to go and I must take her home.  If the judge finds in my favor she must stay in treatment until either I agree she is ready to come home or she finishes the program.

crazymom I am overwhelmed about your story you must be exhausted... .  what a maze you must walk everyday. Have you thought about moving her out of state? Some states don't have those kind of laws and your child doesn't have the right to leave... .  keep us posted and stay strong!