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Title: FaceBook Cover Puzzle . Post by: wanttoknowmore on March 03, 2013, 11:36:06 AM Fellow members,
I need you to make me understand this situation as it is bothering me and keeping me stuck at "staying board" 2+ years long intense, close relationship with gf,hardly any notable break up until 10 days ago when she got dysregulated due to recurrence of grief after visiting a hospice PLUS my mishandling by invalidating her feelings and fears. She is giving silent treatment for 10 days and texts"make me move on" "I have to move on and you can too" "you are such a loving and caring person... million thanks to you" (last text 4 days ago) Puzzle is this: We went to my native country bought her a very expensive attire (symbolic very ethnic of my ancestral background) She put that,proudly,as her facebook cover 6 months ago. The picture remains as it is as of today. Also, about 1 year ago, she made a facebook account with screen name which includes half of letters from my first name and half of letters from her first name,linked this a/c to her original facebook a/c . This still remains untouched and I can see everything she is posting,pictures,her friends etc. She never blocked anything. What does her actions tell about her intentions to stay in this r/s? Because if I make a decision too fast to leave r/s , I might never be able to come back. I dont act impulsively but once I decide it's final. Please help me understand her so I don'tmake a wrong decision. I still care about her though with each day passing, feelings have started to slowly erode. She is not with anyone else but spending time with her old female friends. (She doesnot change things quickly. She has not changed her primary physician in 5 years inspite of being unhappy with his services. Dont like to change her car for years even if she can easily afford a new model.Same employer for last 20 years.) Title: Re: FaceBook Cover Puzzle . Post by: inepted on March 03, 2013, 11:50:54 AM Trust me, trying to figure out her actions wont get you anywhere. She may not even understand her actions right now. In fact right now she may be having an even harder time than you are trying to understand her own actions. Trying to decipher her actions will only cause you to run around in circles.
Maybe she feels like there isn't a need to change anything about her facebook. In fact, the thought maybe hasn't even crossed her mind. All you can really do is wait it out. At least thats what i can tell you from my own experience anyways. Title: Re: FaceBook Cover Puzzle . Post by: CodependentHusband on March 04, 2013, 08:27:54 AM Based on my experience with noticing how my BPD wife updates her FB account, and what she tends to do and not do in terms of blocking me when she does, etc, I've learned to not read into her actions on social networking sites. I've come to the conclusion that when my wife DOES block me on FB, it is because she is reacting to something very much in the moment when she sees a post that triggers her somehow.
If she is at all like my wife, she needs space, but needs to know that you are there. Nothing more, nothing less. Hope thinsg get better for you soon! I know this is hard! |