BPDFamily.com

Hey guys I joined this forum yesterday and already it's been a huge help :)

The backstory to my situation is I met a girl 3 months ago online and everything has been perfect apart from the need of constant reassurance that I wasn't going to leave her, or rather it was perfect till last week! She's in the middle of moving house which alone has really stressed her out and a random txt from an ex finally tipped her over the edge! This ex was from a year and a half ago and was pretty mean toward her(apparently) and ended up walking out on her saying he couldn't deal with her, they've also met up as friends 3 times since then and they fell out each time and now he wants her back again! Big deal right? Well it has become one and now out of the blue she's decided to consider going back to him again  as it stands right now I've gone from her "knight in shining armour", "perfect man" and "soul mate" to nothing more than an option or a runner up prize in her head! We spoke on the phone last night and she say she misses me, has feelings for me and is sorry for doing this to me, but she just seems so casual about the situation like it's a normal thing to do! She says she's confused and needs time to think about what the right decision is yet admits to me that she has more feelings for her ex than me as they have more history than me and her(together for a year and a half) and she says she actually plans on meeting him in the next couple of weeks to see if things have changed this time! Just gonna sit back and wait because I feel like I don't want to give up cos I've fallen in love with her  :'(

Also it hurts that she told me when they were together he never took her out or treated her, he would rather sit in playing Xbox and smoke weed and all I've done is try to be as romantic as possible, flowers, dinners out etc.

Still I feel reading other peoples storys is helping as I'm not the only one who knows what it's like :)

Really sorry to hear that.

Truth is the 'right' thing to do is to run a mile from this girl.

She admits she has feelings for her ex which is a not good, However she has been honest about it, which is good, she could of just strung you too along.

Your best bet, is to leave on good terms, tell her how you feel but stand your ground that you won't be in a triangle with her ex. She will most difficult get with her ex either way by the sounds of things, at least that way you have left on good terms and if the relationship with her ex fails, which is probably will, she will probably come back to you and you could assess it then.

Its really difficult but I rekon even if she picks you over him, she has unresolved feelings for her ex which probably won't go away.

Thanks for the reply. A few more things I feel like adding I'm 25 and she's 24, I have 2 year old little boy and she has a 3 year old little boy(not by the ex in question). We would go out all together on day trips every other Sunday when she wasn't working and she was so happy she even said we were like a little family! I've been messed about before by other girls, but the things she said, the way we kissed, the way she held me, the way we would stare into each others eyes I know she meant it all. So hard how people with BPD can seem to switch these feelings on and off as they please